Good afternoon, everypony. I’m here to talk to you about something near and dear to my heart: little Derpy Hooves. This young mare needs love, hugs, and 3 square muffins a day to stay healthy, but she can’t do it alone. She needs your help. There’s some rumbling and shaking going on, and the bottom line is that our favorite mailmare is in trouble. Here, have a better petition than the one that was up before.
Show her how much you care by purchasing any one of the many awesome, stylish, and high quality shirts from We Love Fine. Act quickly. Act today! This may be your very last chance to score yourself a Derpy shirt, so please. Don’t wait.
Dollars speak louder than words. So show Derpy how much we love her, and keep her smiling for all of us.