Story: White Demure (Update Complete!)

[Adventure]

Author: Heitomos

Description: When Apple Bloom falls ill with a mysterious disease, it’s up to Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash to try and find her a cure! Can they find it in time, or will this be it for the little filly?

White Demure (All Links) (New Chapter 12!)


White Demure (All Links Alternate)


Additional Tags: Possibly Long, Disease, Adventure, Quest, Cure

This entry was posted in Adventure, Applebloom, Author: Heitomos, Complete, Everypony, Other, Star-5, Story. Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to Story: White Demure (Update Complete!)

  1. NinesTempest says:

    JUST SO YOU KNOWThis totally isn't Dangerous Business.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Twilight Sparkly?

  3. Shellsh0cker says:

    Yeah, that was my first thought too. Also, "Twilight Sparkly?" *snerk*

  4. Zerone says:

    Twilight Sparkly? Sounds like an upgrade to me.

  5. Fenix says:

    Twilight Sparkly is my favorite pony.

  6. FlashFire says:

    hehehe i leik Twilight Sparkly.

  7. TenchiFreak5 says:

    I'll give it a shot, Dangerous Business similarities notwithstanding. Sir Leadhead hit it right on the money.

  8. Ekevoo says:

    Well, Twilight's disease wasn't mysterious in Dangerous Business.

  9. Anonymous says:

    I like your idea of splitting them off into groups that wouldn't normally work together.Looking forward to reading more!

  10. Anonymous says:

    Sparkly? Was that an accident…or is it Ms. Sparkle"s evil twin?!?! XD

  11. Ekevoo says:

    @AnonymousWell, I'd think Sparkly is sparklier thank Sparkle. 🙂

  12. Twilight Sparkly sounds epic.

  13. Anonymous says:

    So basically… this is "It's Dangerous Business GOing out your Door…" Only Applebloom is sick rather than Twilight.

  14. in4fter Twilight Sparkly

  15. Anonymous says:

    Twilight SparklyAppleyjacklesRariteenyPinkie Dinkie PieFluttershinyRainbow Dashie-Washy-Pa-Ping-Pong

  16. Raven says:

    @AnonymousWe all know Twilight's evil twin is Rapidash! =D

  17. Sir Leadhead says:

    @Anonymousyou may want to look at my previous comment before you make a judgement based on that statement. i think i make a good point.

  18. Heitomos says:

    Okay, I was at work all day and only now arrived to see all this. Well, I should say this first:I have not read "It's Dangerous Business, Going Outside Your Door" yet. I wanted too, I just never got around to it yet. In light of being told it has similarities, I will not read that fic until I have finished this one, so that, if I keep this up, you all know it's by happen stance and not plagiarising. Secondly, I have just noticed the Twilight Sparkly typo, and I'm glad you lot like it. 😛 It might get fixed soon, however.

  19. ShadowFox04 says:

    As many people have said, it's not Dangerous Business, but but it has the same basic plot. That's not a bad thing but it's what it will be compared to to begin with. Because of this it's got some big boots to fill. Still a solid opening. It'll be a couple more chapters till I make a proper verdict though.

  20. Anonymous says:

    One problem. Infections just don't pop up out of nowhere. Whatever Apple Bloom was exposed to could well still be out there for anypony to stumble over and spread across half of Equestria. Given that the White Demure has epidemic potential not informing Celestia of the potential threat immediately is criminally irresponsible.While I'm sure the Author is worried about Celestia just solving everything. The shear scale of the threat can work as an explanation why she can't. To cover all of Equestria to find the White Demure's source is a huge undertaking that will probably involve her full attention the organization of hundreds of ponies and weeks of planning. Weeks Apple Bloom doesn't have.

  21. Anonymous says:

    "It's Dangerous Business, Going Outside Your Door" isn't the only one with that premiss there's also the incomplete "Ten Very Venturous Ponies".

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