Story: The Catastrophic Case of the Cutie Mark Crusaders (Update 3+4!)

[Sad][Slightly Grimdark][Comedy]  Pinkamena Diane Pie time! This time from Squeak!

Author: Squeak

Description: Hello, my name is Pinkamina Dian Pie, and I suggest you pick up a much happier story. Perhaps one in which good things happen to little fillies who do everything right, and the sun always shines. If it sounds as though you would like such a story, then please close whatever form of media you are reading this on, and go to the “Normal” section of Equestria Daily, where such stories are stored. This is not a happy story, this is the story of three little fillies, and the terrible events that were to befall them.

The Catastrophic Case of the Cutie Mark Crusaders Chapter 1
The Catastrophic Case of the Cutie Mark Crusaders Chapter 2: The Somber Start
The Catastrophic Case of the Cutie Mark Crusaders Chapter 3: Sour Apples (New!)
The Catastrophic Case of the Cutie Mark Crusaders Chapter 4: Frantic Fashion (New!)
(Chapters have the wrong numbers in the google docs, but it’s all in order!)

Additional Tags: Lemony Snicket Thingy

This entry was posted in Applejack, Author: Squeak, Big Mac, comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Incomplete, Normal, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Star-5, Story. Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to Story: The Catastrophic Case of the Cutie Mark Crusaders (Update 3+4!)

  1. I love Lemony! And I love the CMC! So this is awesome by default. XD

  2. fieryShaman says:

    Friendship is Magic in the style of Lemony Snicket? Yes please!

  3. ZAquanimus says:


  4. Anonymous says:

    I can't wait to be the first to exclaim EqD has now reached 6 million pageviews

  5. ToonNinja says:

    This was bound to happen. Only question is what the CMC are going to have to go through.

  6. McGack says:

    awwww yeah This should be entertaining

  7. JaxsonJaguar says:

    It's funny but I can't help but read this in a sort of Hugh Laurie as Gregory House voice while making gestures with my hand as if I was smoking a cigarette. Strange.

  8. Anonymous says:


  9. Anonymous says:

    Wooo 6 million !

  10. Anonymous says:

    HAPPY NEW YEA— 6000000M!!!

  11. Anonymous says:

    6 Million took us 8 days this time

  12. Anonymous says:

    At this rate we'll have ~17 Million by the end of summer.

  13. Anonymous says:

    First Beatles names now Lemony. Brony community, why are you so awesome?

  14. Alexstrazsa says:

    This is freaking brilliant. Please write more!

  15. Inkwell says:

    This is amazing! 5 stars! Please keep writing this 😀 Poor CMC though ❤

  16. Tarvoc says:

    Someone of the Blueblood family as a Count Olaf stand-in? This is going to be interesting…

  17. DooDawDay says:

    @Anonymousand that's before season 2 even starts XD THE HERD! SHE GROWS!

  18. ZombieFobby says:

    I know this is supposed to be Lemony Snicket style, but I can't help but read it in the voice of the Guide from Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. The two share a similar, yet different writing style. Also, for any other hoopy froods out there, Do you think "Bad things always happen on Thursdays" could a reference to Arthur Dent's "It must be Thurday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays"?

  19. Putuk says:

    I remember him looking for names on Ponychan.Did he pick my suggestion (Joe)?Just kidding.

  20. uSea says:

    @ZombieFobbyWhile Arthur Dent's line is the first thing I think of whenever Thursday is mentioned, I'm sure that there is a similar occurance in Unfortunate Events. Although it has been quite some time since I read any of them.As for the story, I loved it. Perfectly captured the Lemony style with your own humorous observations thrown in.Really hope for more.

  21. Major Rains says:

    This story perfectly captures the writing style of Lemony Snicket, as well as using the situations in your story to provide humor.Bronies now have good fanfiction writers, your argument is invalid.

  22. Ten Mihara says:

    An Excellent Emulation of the Lemony Narration style. I look forward to more.

  23. FeelNFine says:

    Loved lemony Sniket, loved this. Need I say MOAR!?

  24. Anonymous says:

    "STOP READING NOW!!!!!"How subtle.

  25. Anonymous says:

    The first time I saw the title I thought it said "The Craptastic Case of the Cutie Mark Crusaders".

  26. Anonymous says:

    I've only read the first few chapters, but I like what I've read so far. The style is good overall, but it's really stretching at points and a little overdone.Lemony seemed to have a sort of semi-serious, snarky, and depressing style, and it seems like you nailed it at some points, but it fell completely flat in some areas.4/5

  27. Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous I agree… very subtle.

  28. John says:

    Oh my god, the image, the description…just looking at this thing I know it's going to be golden. And you do not dissapoint! The writing often nails Lemony's style, and I found myself frequently laughing as I did when I read Lemony. Awesome work!

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