Story: The Best Night Ever Extended (Update Complete!)

 [Normal][Comedy]


Author: Stainless Steel Fox

Description: I’m tired of Grimdark, are you tired of Grimdark? Even Celestia’s tired of Grimdark, and that _is_ Grimdark. I’ve never been so tired of Grimdark except when I read Cupcakes, and I mean who can top that…

Pinkieness aside, I want to see something good happen. After all, we’re supposed to like these ponies. And what better opportunity is there than the Grand Galloping Gala? Does anyone else feel that our heroes got a rather raw deal? Princess Celestia telling them it’s all okay went some way towards restoring the balance, but I don’t think it went anyway near far enough. Here’s my non-canon, but heartfelt extension to the story. With added Luna.

The Best Night Ever Extended (All Links) (New!)

Additional Tags: Humour, Post-Gala, Teamwork, Friendship, CheerfulLight

This entry was posted in Author: Stainless Steel Fox, Complete, Everypony, Star-5, Story. Bookmark the permalink.

41 Responses to Story: The Best Night Ever Extended (Update Complete!)

  1. Cyberpony says:

    lol at the "cheerfulLight" tagalso awesome story!

  2. Cyberpony says:

    lol at the "cheerfulLight" tagalso awesome story!

  3. Bongo says:

    "Haha, that was amazing!" – Spike, Feeling Pinkie Keen

  4. Bongo says:

    "Haha, that was amazing!" – Spike, Feeling Pinkie Keen

  5. Gozerian says:

    Tired of grimdark? Is yous trolling?

  6. Gozerian says:

    Tired of grimdark? Is yous trolling?

  7. Thattagen says:

    It was a nice read, but you forgot to filter out your pronouns into somepony, everypony, etc.I'm jealous of people who can carry an interesting dialogue for several pages…

  8. Thattagen says:

    It was a nice read, but you forgot to filter out your pronouns into somepony, everypony, etc.I'm jealous of people who can carry an interesting dialogue for several pages…

  9. NickNack says:

    I really like where this is going. You did a good job capturing the personalities of the main six ponies with their dialog. I smiled at Rainbow Dash 'inhaling doughnuts.'The only thing I see wrong with this is that the dialog is a bit rushed in places, but it hardly detracts anything from this story other than a slight bit of flow. 5-stars.

  10. NickNack says:

    I really like where this is going. You did a good job capturing the personalities of the main six ponies with their dialog. I smiled at Rainbow Dash 'inhaling doughnuts.'The only thing I see wrong with this is that the dialog is a bit rushed in places, but it hardly detracts anything from this story other than a slight bit of flow. 5-stars.

  11. Storm Vision says:

    Yeah, this was wonderful. And it figures Celestia would channel a little Vetinari.You've got my 5 stars (and my axe, etc.), but I'd strongly recommend seeking out a friendly editor. Thattagen mentioned the pronouns thing (which I missed! *blush* Gonna have to pay more attention to that in my own writing if I ever get around to it), but you've got a number of tiny errors sitting around to distract people. (In particular, the name of the Wonderbolt is Soarin', with the apostrophe. I can understand sticking with just Soarin if you do it consistently, but you even called him Soaring once.)That said, I still really enjoyed reading this despite being a serial nitpicker; I just want this fic to be even more wonderful. πŸ™‚

  12. Storm Vision says:

    Yeah, this was wonderful. And it figures Celestia would channel a little Vetinari.You've got my 5 stars (and my axe, etc.), but I'd strongly recommend seeking out a friendly editor. Thattagen mentioned the pronouns thing (which I missed! *blush* Gonna have to pay more attention to that in my own writing if I ever get around to it), but you've got a number of tiny errors sitting around to distract people. (In particular, the name of the Wonderbolt is Soarin', with the apostrophe. I can understand sticking with just Soarin if you do it consistently, but you even called him Soaring once.)That said, I still really enjoyed reading this despite being a serial nitpicker; I just want this fic to be even more wonderful. πŸ™‚

  13. Anonymous says:

    One of the funniest fics I've read here, and that's saying something. Also, I'm putting my vote in for somepony, if not the original author to do the follow up on Blueblood's time at Sweet Apple Acres, turning up Apple pie deserves a good helping of humble pie if you ask me.

  14. Anonymous says:

    One of the funniest fics I've read here, and that's saying something. Also, I'm putting my vote in for somepony, if not the original author to do the follow up on Blueblood's time at Sweet Apple Acres, turning up Apple pie deserves a good helping of humble pie if you ask me.

  15. Anonymous says:

    I still believes Trollestia only sent two invites for the Gala and watched Twilight's friends fight πŸ˜€

  16. Anonymous says:

    I still believes Trollestia only sent two invites for the Gala and watched Twilight's friends fight πŸ˜€

  17. Anonymous says:

    Fallout:Equestria grimdark is best grimdark.

  18. Anonymous says:

    Fallout:Equestria grimdark is best grimdark.

  19. Anonymous says:

    This was definitely a worthwhile read; I loved your characterization of Luna and the dialogue was generally very strong.A couple of lines did startle me out of the story a bit, though:"They're at least twenty percent cooler than my idea!" and "Considering apple pies were considered the weapon of choice for an Applosian range war, this was roughly equivalent to using her as a shield from an assault rifle."The first one stops being realistic dialogue so that it can use the 20% cooler line, which seems like a bad idea; I recommend building new dialogue instead of relying on making references to please people. The second line could have been cut out of the story completely without affecting it, and it elevated what was simply churlish behavior to the level of high crime. It's a testament to your skills at writing the dialogue, though, that only those two lines felt "wrong" to me. The rest of the story is very well-crafted, in-character, and enjoyable. Good job.

  20. Anonymous says:

    This was definitely a worthwhile read; I loved your characterization of Luna and the dialogue was generally very strong.A couple of lines did startle me out of the story a bit, though:"They're at least twenty percent cooler than my idea!" and "Considering apple pies were considered the weapon of choice for an Applosian range war, this was roughly equivalent to using her as a shield from an assault rifle."The first one stops being realistic dialogue so that it can use the 20% cooler line, which seems like a bad idea; I recommend building new dialogue instead of relying on making references to please people. The second line could have been cut out of the story completely without affecting it, and it elevated what was simply churlish behavior to the level of high crime. It's a testament to your skills at writing the dialogue, though, that only those two lines felt "wrong" to me. The rest of the story is very well-crafted, in-character, and enjoyable. Good job.

  21. Anonymous says:

    Not…bad. Not great, either.To be frank, this felt as if you had a good idea for a short little funny fic, then had another idea for a fic about Luna and why she wasn't at the Gala, then sort of mashed them together at the last minute without really planning it through.Her character doesn't fit into the scene, at the beginning she comes off as overly melodramatic and around the middle of the story, she just plain relegated the mane six to bit players.The dialogue felt forced, or perhaps "rushed" would be a more precise criticism: Nothing too bad, but another editor would certainly help refine the lines. By now you've probably heard that a dozen times, though.What really got to me though, and I realise this is rather silly, is that your stated intention was softening the "raw deal" the mane six got with the disastrous gala. I, however, felt that you achieved just the opposite – at the end of the episode, they are laughing, if only because at that point, the alternative would be crying (Oh, Trollestia, we love you so). It ends on a rather positive note whereas your fic… made the whole thing sadder by having the characters complain about the injustice done to them, not to mention all the gloomy!Luna you added in for good measure. The last few paragraphs are, I believe, supposed to work in a way similar to the end scene of the episode, but instead just feel tacked on. Lots of potential, but lacking in execution. 3/5

  22. Anonymous says:

    Not…bad. Not great, either.To be frank, this felt as if you had a good idea for a short little funny fic, then had another idea for a fic about Luna and why she wasn't at the Gala, then sort of mashed them together at the last minute without really planning it through.Her character doesn't fit into the scene, at the beginning she comes off as overly melodramatic and around the middle of the story, she just plain relegated the mane six to bit players.The dialogue felt forced, or perhaps "rushed" would be a more precise criticism: Nothing too bad, but another editor would certainly help refine the lines. By now you've probably heard that a dozen times, though.What really got to me though, and I realise this is rather silly, is that your stated intention was softening the "raw deal" the mane six got with the disastrous gala. I, however, felt that you achieved just the opposite – at the end of the episode, they are laughing, if only because at that point, the alternative would be crying (Oh, Trollestia, we love you so). It ends on a rather positive note whereas your fic… made the whole thing sadder by having the characters complain about the injustice done to them, not to mention all the gloomy!Luna you added in for good measure. The last few paragraphs are, I believe, supposed to work in a way similar to the end scene of the episode, but instead just feel tacked on. Lots of potential, but lacking in execution. 3/5

  23. this needs to be cannon I want to see an episode of prince Blueblood being forced to work on sweet apple acres!! XD

  24. this needs to be cannon I want to see an episode of prince Blueblood being forced to work on sweet apple acres!! XD

  25. FoxOfWar says:

    It was a good, amusing and verily, entertaining read. I approve.I can agree on being tired of things Grim and Dark. These are ponies, after all! :)(Maybe there is some truth in the old adage that good comedy is the hardest of them all to write.)

  26. FoxOfWar says:

    It was a good, amusing and verily, entertaining read. I approve.I can agree on being tired of things Grim and Dark. These are ponies, after all! :)(Maybe there is some truth in the old adage that good comedy is the hardest of them all to write.)

  27. Anonymous says:

    "I do believe it is pineapple!"Proof that Celestia has met Vetinari. That explains -so- much…~~BlankFlankBrony

  28. Anonymous says:

    "I do believe it is pineapple!"Proof that Celestia has met Vetinari. That explains -so- much…~~BlankFlankBrony

  29. Anonymous says:

    soooo tired of grimdark… many high fives for you.

  30. Anonymous says:

    soooo tired of grimdark… many high fives for you.

  31. Shellsh0cker says:

    @AnonymousErm . . . I don't think you read all three chapters.Anyway, to the author, I agree with the other anonymous commenter said about those lines of dialogue that felt a bit "off." Making jokes in the narrative voice is fine, but only if you do it regularly–dropping just a couple of jokes that way means they break the overall story flow. And really, the memes are kind of played out by now. They're only worth it if you can really build up to them. That's just my opinion, of course.That said, I agree that you're an excellent dialogue writer. In the middle of chapter two I was like "Wait a minute, basically nothing has actually happened this entire time. Shouldn't I be bored now?" But I wasn't, and it was glorious.Like many others, I too think there's been a rather large influx of Grimdark stuff lately, though that's not to say it's bad–I'm quite enjoying Frigid Winds, The Sun is Tired, and of course Fallout: Equestria. Still, it's something that should be taken in small doses, so thanks for the reprieve.

  32. Shellsh0cker says:

    @AnonymousErm . . . I don't think you read all three chapters.Anyway, to the author, I agree with the other anonymous commenter said about those lines of dialogue that felt a bit "off." Making jokes in the narrative voice is fine, but only if you do it regularly–dropping just a couple of jokes that way means they break the overall story flow. And really, the memes are kind of played out by now. They're only worth it if you can really build up to them. That's just my opinion, of course.That said, I agree that you're an excellent dialogue writer. In the middle of chapter two I was like "Wait a minute, basically nothing has actually happened this entire time. Shouldn't I be bored now?" But I wasn't, and it was glorious.Like many others, I too think there's been a rather large influx of Grimdark stuff lately, though that's not to say it's bad–I'm quite enjoying Frigid Winds, The Sun is Tired, and of course Fallout: Equestria. Still, it's something that should be taken in small doses, so thanks for the reprieve.

  33. zaptiftun says:

    Ah, so this is where you've popped off to… ;)Very well done on the story thus far; as always, very enjoyable to read your work.

  34. zaptiftun says:

    Ah, so this is where you've popped off to… ;)Very well done on the story thus far; as always, very enjoyable to read your work.

  35. @AnonymousNo… She IS Vetinari.*stage gasp*

  36. @AnonymousNo… She IS Vetinari.*stage gasp*

  37. Brilliant, brilliant series. Love our actress Pinkie Pie. Please do more. *puppy eyes*

  38. Brilliant, brilliant series. Love our actress Pinkie Pie. Please do more. *puppy eyes*

  39. Anonymous says:

    Is it strange for me to feel protective of Blueblood, because people want to see him suffer so much?

  40. Anonymous says:

    Is it strange for me to feel protective of Blueblood, because people want to see him suffer so much?

  41. I gotta say that I enjoyed most of this fic. It's not my favorite, but it was definitely worth the better part of an hour that I spent reading it. Your use of the character's canon personalities was well done. The only things that ever struck me as odd were "thinking dash" and Luna. The latter is simply because I've already read way too many fanfics with Luna, and have a mental picture how I see her, so there's nothing that was done badly there. Your explanation for Dash's personality there was good though. It was a decent enough explanation for her actions. The Pinkie Pie dialogue was good. I'm always impressed when I see a well done Pinkie Pie. The last time I saw one done really well was in "Half the Day is Night". Anyway, you portrayed her well here. I loved your line "there are things that magic and science can't explain, and pinkie pie is most of them". It got to be a little much in a couple of instances though. The Darth Pinkie moment kinda made me facepalm slightly. The tone of the story was definitely done in the style of the show: very upbeat. Oddly enough, it seemed odd to me at first. Maybe I really have been reading too much grimdark lately. I will say that you should be careful of that though. If a story is too happy in tone with happy endings awarded all over the place, it may slightly cross the line into "fan wank", especially here when it's attempting to fix the canon storyline (as it kinda did here).Your song at the end really won me over. I've never seen that ending tactic successfully executed in a fic here. You definitely get high marks for that. Kudos to you.All in all, I'd give this story a solid 4 of 5. You got an extra bit with the ending song.

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