Story: Celestia’s Teeth

[Comedy][Normal] Post this or I’ll put my hands over my ears and scream about Trixie being a fictional character in a show for little girls until you do-Pre Reader #12

How…Violent.  I think the pre-readers think I have an actual crush on Trixie or something. 

Author: Abalidoth

Description: Celestia makes sure to surround herself with the most competent staff
in all of Equestria, but when they go too far in her service, she takes
things into her own hooves.

Celestia’s Teeth

Additional Tags: Trollestia, Bureaucracy, Food, Pranks, Character-Driven

This entry was posted in Author: Abalidoth, Celestia, comedy, Complete, Luna, Normal, Star-6, Story. Bookmark the permalink.

102 Responses to Story: Celestia’s Teeth

  1. Just keep telling yourself you don't have a crush on Trixie…

  2. Just keep telling yourself you don't have a crush on Trixie…

  3. Aluzird says:

    Seht having a crush on Trixie? As if. You silly ponies coming up with stuff like this.

  4. Aluzird says:

    Seht having a crush on Trixie? As if. You silly ponies coming up with stuff like this.

  5. Shmoogy says:

    i liked this story we need more celestia like this

  6. Shmoogy says:

    i liked this story we need more celestia like this

  7. Kyle says:

    Okay, that was a cute little story. Long live Celestia the prankster

  8. Kyle says:

    Okay, that was a cute little story. Long live Celestia the prankster

  9. Celestia is always awesome X3

  10. Celestia is always awesome X3

  11. XD great storyIs tree tree oil actually good for bad breath? I knew it was good for treating acne but not breath

  12. XD great storyIs tree tree oil actually good for bad breath? I knew it was good for treating acne but not breath

  13. Skay says:

    Easily the funniest fic I've seen in awhile. Excellent story, thanks for the laugh!

  14. Skay says:

    Easily the funniest fic I've seen in awhile. Excellent story, thanks for the laugh!

  15. Very nice look at Celestia and the court, and quite funny, too.

  16. Very nice look at Celestia and the court, and quite funny, too.

  17. Acriaos says:

    A very realistic, true to the show and extremely funny look at Celestia and the ponies working in the palace. Trollestia at her best 🙂

  18. Acriaos says:

    A very realistic, true to the show and extremely funny look at Celestia and the ponies working in the palace. Trollestia at her best 🙂

  19. Ali says:

    I genuinely laughed out loud. Well, snickered, actually. Almost made me choke on Jello, which I didn't know was possible. So, five stars!

  20. Ali says:

    I genuinely laughed out loud. Well, snickered, actually. Almost made me choke on Jello, which I didn't know was possible. So, five stars!

  21. Krizak says:

    I love when Celestia is portrayed accurate to the show, a kind if slightly mischievous ruler as opposed to an untouchable and perfect goddess or a terrible tyrant, and this pretty much nailed it.

  22. Krizak says:

    I love when Celestia is portrayed accurate to the show, a kind if slightly mischievous ruler as opposed to an untouchable and perfect goddess or a terrible tyrant, and this pretty much nailed it.

  23. Anonymous says:

    My shiny teeth that twinkleJust like the stars in spaceMy shiny teeth that sparkleaddin' beauty to my face!

  24. Anonymous says:

    My shiny teeth that twinkleJust like the stars in spaceMy shiny teeth that sparkleaddin' beauty to my face!

  25. Anonymous says:

    Oh, I like that idea of Celestia's subject being afraid of losing her. There are downsides to a 100% adoration rating. Hiring a pony to brush Celestia's teeth? What's next, royal food chewers?Also, playful Trollestia is best Celestia.

  26. Anonymous says:

    Oh, I like that idea of Celestia's subject being afraid of losing her. There are downsides to a 100% adoration rating. Hiring a pony to brush Celestia's teeth? What's next, royal food chewers?Also, playful Trollestia is best Celestia.

  27. Anonymous says:

    Nice take on Celestia.

  28. Anonymous says:

    Nice take on Celestia.

  29. Anonymous says:

    Silly Seth, Of COURSE you have a crush on Trixie. You effing rave about her every day.

  30. Anonymous says:

    Silly Seth, Of COURSE you have a crush on Trixie. You effing rave about her every day.

  31. mykowskis says:

    This was great! A very fun read, and very well written to boot,

  32. mykowskis says:

    This was great! A very fun read, and very well written to boot,

  33. Anonymous says:

    @AnonymousIs it bad that I understood that reference? This was a funny fic that made me guffaw, I think there needs to be a lot more Celestia fic like this one

  34. Anonymous says:

    @AnonymousIs it bad that I understood that reference? This was a funny fic that made me guffaw, I think there needs to be a lot more Celestia fic like this one

  35. Anonymous says:

    That was.. surprisingly awesome! Lighthearted, genuinely funny without being either sappy or random. True to the spirit of the show in the best sense.

  36. Anonymous says:

    That was.. surprisingly awesome! Lighthearted, genuinely funny without being either sappy or random. True to the spirit of the show in the best sense.

  37. Chanticleer says:

    So say the price of hay goes down from 10 bits per bale to 5 bits per bale.Say the crown subsidy buys 20 bales of hay at a fixed price (say 15 bits per bale).Say the town produces 100 bales of hay on a normal year when the hay is worth 10 bits and receives extra revenue of 100 bits from the 20 bales the crown buys.On the bumper year the hay is 5 bits per bale and the town produces 200 bales. If the crown buys only 10 bales of hay at the 15 bit fixed price, the town receives extra revenue of 100 bits from the crown. Thus the crown buys less, but the town gets the same amount of extra money.And since 190 x 5 = 950 and 80 x 10 = 800 they're still making more money on the bumper year.I feel so ashamed I had to write that out just to figure that out…

  38. Chanticleer says:

    So say the price of hay goes down from 10 bits per bale to 5 bits per bale.Say the crown subsidy buys 20 bales of hay at a fixed price (say 15 bits per bale).Say the town produces 100 bales of hay on a normal year when the hay is worth 10 bits and receives extra revenue of 100 bits from the 20 bales the crown buys.On the bumper year the hay is 5 bits per bale and the town produces 200 bales. If the crown buys only 10 bales of hay at the 15 bit fixed price, the town receives extra revenue of 100 bits from the crown. Thus the crown buys less, but the town gets the same amount of extra money.And since 190 x 5 = 950 and 80 x 10 = 800 they're still making more money on the bumper year.I feel so ashamed I had to write that out just to figure that out…

  39. chinlamp says:

    Well everyone, we now know how to get Seth to do whatever we want, rant about Trixie being a fictional character in a little girls show.

  40. chinlamp says:

    Well everyone, we now know how to get Seth to do whatever we want, rant about Trixie being a fictional character in a little girls show.

  41. Marrock says:

    @Anonymous Unfortunately I'm reminded of that Eddie Murphy movie "Coming to America" when he enter the royal bathroom and the attendant yells out "WIPERS!"

  42. Marrock says:

    @Anonymous Unfortunately I'm reminded of that Eddie Murphy movie "Coming to America" when he enter the royal bathroom and the attendant yells out "WIPERS!"

  43. Why is this not an episode?

  44. Why is this not an episode?

  45. Anonymous says:

    @KrizakThis, so very much this. I can quite imagine Celestia being very pampering-averse too. She is a goddess, not like she can't take care of herself. And I can also see people wanting to pamper her, because she is a goddess, leading to stories just like this.

  46. Anonymous says:

    @KrizakThis, so very much this. I can quite imagine Celestia being very pampering-averse too. She is a goddess, not like she can't take care of herself. And I can also see people wanting to pamper her, because she is a goddess, leading to stories just like this.

  47. This is absolutely hysterical. I am in awe at how you took something as simple as tooth-brushing and turned it into marvelous Trollestia fodder. I also love the relationship you've got between the two sisters. Minty Fresh is a great character. The jab at Spike at the end was priceless. Encore!

  48. This is absolutely hysterical. I am in awe at how you took something as simple as tooth-brushing and turned it into marvelous Trollestia fodder. I also love the relationship you've got between the two sisters. Minty Fresh is a great character. The jab at Spike at the end was priceless. Encore!

  49. Presspass says:

    This writing style is absolutely smart and classy. The dialogue, pacing and character portrayals are superb. It's like bureaucracy is fun again!

  50. Presspass says:

    This writing style is absolutely smart and classy. The dialogue, pacing and character portrayals are superb. It's like bureaucracy is fun again!

  51. Scootawho says:

    @Chanticleer Before I actually comment on the story, I'd like to take the time to thank this kind brony for doing the math (that I didn't have to), and explaining basic economics to us.Stupid economics. Being hard to understand.Directed at the story: I loved this. As this fandom continues, the characters continue to get more and more flanderized into just one or two core aspects of their personality, and Celestia has suffered some of the worst of this. It was nice to read a fic that managed to keep her in-character, and give us some of the friendly joking that we'd expect from her.Bonus points go out for having the d'aawww worthy letter to Twilight at the end. That made me smile.

  52. Scootawho says:

    @Chanticleer Before I actually comment on the story, I'd like to take the time to thank this kind brony for doing the math (that I didn't have to), and explaining basic economics to us.Stupid economics. Being hard to understand.Directed at the story: I loved this. As this fandom continues, the characters continue to get more and more flanderized into just one or two core aspects of their personality, and Celestia has suffered some of the worst of this. It was nice to read a fic that managed to keep her in-character, and give us some of the friendly joking that we'd expect from her.Bonus points go out for having the d'aawww worthy letter to Twilight at the end. That made me smile.

  53. Scootawho says:

    @Scootawho*"so that I didn't have to"Derp.

  54. Scootawho says:

    @Scootawho*"so that I didn't have to"Derp.

  55. Anonymous says:

    Why isn't this star-6 yet?

  56. Anonymous says:

    Why isn't this star-6 yet?

  57. Anonymous says:

    Haha that was great!

  58. Anonymous says:

    Haha that was great!

  59. Darth Equus says:

    Loved every single part of it. Someone said that playful Trollestia is the best. The part where she's munching on an onion needs to be drawn, dangit!

  60. Darth Equus says:

    Loved every single part of it. Someone said that playful Trollestia is the best. The part where she's munching on an onion needs to be drawn, dangit!

  61. I was just think to myself I wonder how a Celeatia-centric slice of life story would go, and here it is. Fairly flawless, too, although the humor was fairly subtle up until the onions came out. I think that was more than made up for by even Celestia having something to learn in the end.

  62. I was just think to myself I wonder how a Celeatia-centric slice of life story would go, and here it is. Fairly flawless, too, although the humor was fairly subtle up until the onions came out. I think that was more than made up for by even Celestia having something to learn in the end.

  63. Baree says:

    This. This is the sort of light-hearted fun I've been missing. A lot. Between all the drama and sad fics (not to mention grimdark, which I personally don't read) this is the kind of stuff that balances it all out and lets me deal with the bazillionth time someone kills of Rainbow. On top of that, its well written. I dearly hope we will see more of this kind of stuff. Definitely from you, and if possible also from other writers. I enjoyed every second of it.

  64. Baree says:

    This. This is the sort of light-hearted fun I've been missing. A lot. Between all the drama and sad fics (not to mention grimdark, which I personally don't read) this is the kind of stuff that balances it all out and lets me deal with the bazillionth time someone kills of Rainbow. On top of that, its well written. I dearly hope we will see more of this kind of stuff. Definitely from you, and if possible also from other writers. I enjoyed every second of it.

  65. Excellent humor and totally episode worthy!

  66. Excellent humor and totally episode worthy!

  67. Celestia at her finest! I implore you to write another story!

  68. Celestia at her finest! I implore you to write another story!

  69. Anonymous says:

    I don't know why but that moment when Snowy finally cracked and laid it all bare to the Princess made me feel bad for Snowy ;^;This Celestia I like a lot though the story was odd when I first read the title "Celestia's Teeth? wth and why?" I am pleasantly surprised with this and so glad I gave it a second chance!And lol were you going to or were trying to reference Colgate as her sister? I thought that scene with Minty Fresh was pretty d'aww.

  70. Anonymous says:

    I don't know why but that moment when Snowy finally cracked and laid it all bare to the Princess made me feel bad for Snowy ;^;This Celestia I like a lot though the story was odd when I first read the title "Celestia's Teeth? wth and why?" I am pleasantly surprised with this and so glad I gave it a second chance!And lol were you going to or were trying to reference Colgate as her sister? I thought that scene with Minty Fresh was pretty d'aww.

  71. Abalidoth says:

    Thank you all so much for your kind words! I really enjoyed writing this story, and I'm glad you all enjoyed reading it.To answer a few questions: I'm planning on writing more Celestia-centric stories, for sure. She's an absolute blast to write for, and I've got quite a few story ideas planned out.

  72. Abalidoth says:

    Thank you all so much for your kind words! I really enjoyed writing this story, and I'm glad you all enjoyed reading it.To answer a few questions: I'm planning on writing more Celestia-centric stories, for sure. She's an absolute blast to write for, and I've got quite a few story ideas planned out.

  73. Abalidoth says:

    @bobbin the unicornTea tree oil is a powerful antimicrobial, which makes it good for both breath and acne (among other things.) Modern mouthwashes use eucalyptus and menthol as active ingredients, but I thought that Equestria would be more likely to have tea trees.

  74. Abalidoth says:

    @bobbin the unicornTea tree oil is a powerful antimicrobial, which makes it good for both breath and acne (among other things.) Modern mouthwashes use eucalyptus and menthol as active ingredients, but I thought that Equestria would be more likely to have tea trees.

  75. Abalidoth says:

    @KrizakThat's pretty much the exact reason I started writing about Celestia. I felt that there were very few depictions of her that captured all the aspects of her that we see in the show, and even fewer still that used her as the main character. (The story Sunny Skies All Day is one of the ones I can think of that gets Celestia right, and that story was one of the inspirations for this one.)

  76. Abalidoth says:

    @KrizakThat's pretty much the exact reason I started writing about Celestia. I felt that there were very few depictions of her that captured all the aspects of her that we see in the show, and even fewer still that used her as the main character. (The story Sunny Skies All Day is one of the ones I can think of that gets Celestia right, and that story was one of the inspirations for this one.)

  77. Abalidoth says:

    @ChanticleerThanks for working out the details on that! I'm a mathematician rather than an economist, so I figured that there was enough wiggle room in my math for that kind of outcome, but I didn't actually know how to figure it out.

  78. Abalidoth says:

    @ChanticleerThanks for working out the details on that! I'm a mathematician rather than an economist, so I figured that there was enough wiggle room in my math for that kind of outcome, but I didn't actually know how to figure it out.

  79. Abalidoth says:

    @ScootawhoBelieve it or not, the letter was a last minute addition. Originally the story ended with Celestia in the bathroom, but I thought it needed something else, and I'm really happy with how it turned out.

  80. Abalidoth says:

    @ScootawhoBelieve it or not, the letter was a last minute addition. Originally the story ended with Celestia in the bathroom, but I thought it needed something else, and I'm really happy with how it turned out.

  81. Abalidoth says:

    @AnonymousYes, Minty Fresh is Colgate's sister. Glad you caught that!

  82. Abalidoth says:

    @AnonymousYes, Minty Fresh is Colgate's sister. Glad you caught that!

  83. Anonymous says:

    [comedy] > [sad][normal] > [grimdark]This story is why.

  84. Anonymous says:

    [comedy] > [sad][normal] > [grimdark]This story is why.

  85. TenchiFreak5 says:

    This was fantastic.

  86. TenchiFreak5 says:

    This was fantastic.

  87. Tricky Step says:

    Instant 5 stars, this turned out better than initially expected.

  88. Tricky Step says:

    Instant 5 stars, this turned out better than initially expected.

  89. Anonymous says:

    There was one inconsistent moment in the story where Celestia prides herself on not lying to her subjects, only to do so to the mayor of Bridlevale during the business lunch (easy fix, have her tell the truth). Otherwise–not a bad read. I could imagine Snowy Slopes showing up in an official episode.

  90. Anonymous says:

    There was one inconsistent moment in the story where Celestia prides herself on not lying to her subjects, only to do so to the mayor of Bridlevale during the business lunch (easy fix, have her tell the truth). Otherwise–not a bad read. I could imagine Snowy Slopes showing up in an official episode.

  91. Abalidoth says:

    @AnonymousOops, haha. Thanks for catching that!

  92. Abalidoth says:

    @AnonymousOops, haha. Thanks for catching that!

  93. Anonymous says:

    Very well done. I also second the "doesn't lie, but ends up doing so"

  94. Anonymous says:

    Very well done. I also second the "doesn't lie, but ends up doing so"

  95. Doc Steedly says:

    I loved this. I smiled and loled loudly the at alot of this. It was a nice little break from the semigrimdark i have kept reading . . and am writing myself. Thank you. It was fun read. Quite witty too *tail snaps*

  96. Doc Steedly says:

    I loved this. I smiled and loled loudly the at alot of this. It was a nice little break from the semigrimdark i have kept reading . . and am writing myself. Thank you. It was fun read. Quite witty too *tail snaps*

  97. Kalianos says:

    I like how you were able to keep the shows Celestia better than many writers while still hammering out a good and very funny story.Light-hearted prankster who is still a good pony.

  98. Kujiiro says:

    Fantastic story!

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