Story: The Luxury Lotus Spa Follies (Update Story 2!)

[Shipping]  This one is pretty borderline-clopfic!  It doesn't mention anything specific..but you have been warned!

Author: Butterscotch Sundae

Description: At a visit to the Luxury Lotus Health and Beauty Spa, Twilight Sparkle finds a lot more than the relaxation she was hoping for

Deviant Art
The Luxury Lotus Spa Follies Part 1

Google Documents
The Luxury Lotus Spa Follies Part 1

Additional Tags:  cloppy spa pony Bubbly/Aloe Lotus Twilight Sparkle

Story 2 After the Break! 

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123 Responses to Story: The Luxury Lotus Spa Follies (Update Story 2!)

  1. Anonymous says:

    I read this ahead of time before it even got put on Equestria Daily.Warning: Very racy and understandable clop-tastic scenes ahead for those who read the comments before the story.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Yikes. Magicasm.Must not clop to this…

  3. Pride says:

    Aaaah, Butterscotch. You always deliver when it comes to clopfics.

  4. Anonymous says:

    When I read this last night, I almost knocked my screen over leaning in; it was that good. This is epic and racy, very clop-able, and overall well written, as usual from Butters.The poor spa though… D:

  5. Anonymous says:

    That was intense. Thank Celestia we have Butterscotch to write these awesome clopfics.

  6. Anonymous says:

    It was very cute ^^ Can't wait for more

  7. Anonymous says:

    The only thing I really hate about stories like this is that you have to be logged in to view them. I mean, come on, I had to make an account only to see TEXT? I mean seriously, it's just text, someone has to READ that to possibly be offended, it's not like with images where it's like BAM in your face.But it's alright, that guys fics are usually really, really well written.

  8. Anonymous says:

    mud wrestling whoo!

  9. Anonymous says:

    Must not clop…must not clop……Confound these ponies and their cat-fights in mud and oil! They drive me to clop!

  10. fireant says:

    For Celestias Sake, Bronies!How could ANYPONY clop to thi… *clop clop clop*

  11. Daffodil says:

    Butterscotchsundae never fails to impress me.That was fuckin' awesome.

  12. Chris says:

    Haha! I just love how a lot of the comments are done by Anonymous people! They probably don't want to show their true identities……I wonder what the sequal will be like; another clop fic or Twilight's true attempts to win Trixie.

  13. Anonymous says:

    I should read this, regardless of it's rating: I must confess that I've been quite envious of Rarity's Spa-rich life. I do so very much enjoy being pampered, and a story about being pampered is right up my proverbial alley.

  14. 9Nine9 says:

    Already saw it on dA as well.Fantastic :X

  15. Anonymous says:

    Seth, why didn't you use the "stupid sexy spa ponies" picture?

  16. nukeiffum says:

    I have the weirdest boner.But seriously, it was an amusing story that got a few good laughs from me. And a whyboner.

  17. Anonymous says:

    @Chris>They probably don't want to show their true identities…Isn't that kind of the point of being anonymous?Anyway, I stay anonymous myself just so I don't have to worry about saying stupid things. Everyone has their off days after all, and every once in a while I say something ignorant or biased that I come to regret in time. But when I hide under an anonymous guise, I'm freed of the regret and the shame, because there's a pathetically low chance of it ever being linked to me as an individual. It's just another stupid anon spouting idiotic ramblings. That's how I feel, at least. And I, of course, can't speak for everyone. (But an anon can…)tl;dr When you're an anon, you can say things like "Twilight has the kind of ass you just want to ram over and over again," without any repercussions.

  18. Anonymous says:

    @AnonymousReplace Twilight with Rainbow in my case, and you got that right. XD

  19. Anonymous says:

    Restrictions. Can't access the damned thing. One star.

  20. Naxts says:

    @AnonymousWell I for one have no fear.I… Almost clopped to this.I'm sorry but that was some really great stuff.

  21. Kits says:

    I think I have loved everything ButterSc0tch has written.CLOP CLOP CLOP

  22. Kawa says:

    I think I'll invest in two halves of coconut so I can properly illustrate my reaction.

  23. Anonymous says:

    i want trixie to give me a massage too 😦

  24. Anonymous says:

    *SPOILERS* Oh Trixie you are tricky :P*SPOILERS*

  25. nova_25 says:

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  26. Fon Shaolin says:

    …damnit, I won't let you turn me into a Furry blogpony!

  27. @ButterscotchSundaeReplying to myself – the ultimate in tripfriendery.Anyway, just a note about the MATURE restriction – it's forced on me by DA's policies, and I take it seriously since there are lots of kids on that site and I don't want them to be exposed to lesbian pony love before they're ready for it. So I beg your forgiveness! It's got nothing to do with trying to get you to join DA. (most of my stories don't have the restriction, anyway)

  28. Venbrou says:

    @AnonymousYou, sir, just made my day.

  29. Anonymous says:

    I swore I'd not clop to ponies, but I thought I'd check out this story – it couldn't be too bad if it was on EqD, right?Well, I kept my promise… but, damn, was it hard to. Very well written, but makes me feel guilty!

  30. nova_25 says:

    @ButterscotchSundaeClose call… For a second I was quite near being disappointed by the ending, but then I saw ''To be continued''…This was very interesting, yes.Good descriptions, nicely made story with good details, remain civilized through the ''special'' parts.Yeah… it was an enjoyable story. 🙂 I would even say relaxing, for half of it, and exciting for the other half.I would how the next part will go?Edit: Forgiveness ? What for ? The Internet is the Internet, and People are People… One can hardly hope to keep everyone where they 'should' be, at all time…And anyways… Like I said, the story remains pretty civilized, yet enjoyable.-For those who can see further than the tip of their nose, that is 😉

  31. Venbrou says:

    Exceptional storytelling, Butterscotch, as always. As for the story… It pretty much ended in me being too relaxed to notice the blood that was rushing to my face as well as rushing to… other areas. I think I'm going to wait till this story is finished to give it a proper review, but I do hope it doesn't turn sad!

  32. Hikuro14 says:

    My word…I did not clop to this, but it was worthy.

  33. Anonymous says:

    We need Neo in here, because… woah. So close to clopping. Butterscotch, you can't DO that to me! And by that I mean "Please write more."

  34. DarkJester says:

    Good word usage and characterization of Trixie and Twilight, but I noticed on occasion a repeat of certain words too closely together. Not a terribly big deal, just something I would suggest keeping an eye out for.Otherwise a good read. 8/10

  35. McGack says:

    well uh O_o that certainly was an interesting read

  36. Fantastic. Cloppy and dramatic and hilarious all at once.But man, these ponies have some weird physiology, don't they? I mean, haunches and withers AND elbows. That's not a criticism, just an observation on how these half-anthropomorphized ponies seem to work.

  37. Anonymous says:

    I'm glad the description of this story warned of its racier parts, because somebody happening onto this without any warning of the contents could REALLY take it the wrong way.That said, I think Butterscotch really handled this fic with a lot of class, from beginning to end. And I must admit… it did send my mind off into bad directions during certain bits… *cough* *ahem*An amazing read for ponies who are mature, and who make the choice to be exposed to this type of material. Absolutely brilliant EXCEPT that I wish Trixie didn't have to get her heart stomped on after already being publicly humiliated by Twilight during the Ursa incident. Twilight was clever for using her rival's weakness against her, but it was also cruel.For Celestia's sake, even Great and Powerful ponies deserved to be loved!

  38. Anonymous says:

    @DrOrbitalDeathRayen.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equine_anatomyEquines do have "elbows," and they're roughly equivalent to human elbows anatomically.I've never written a clopfic, but I do think that anyone who does has probably read up a bit on the anatomy beforehand. I'd certainy think butterscotchsunday would have, 'cuz she's better than most.Closest I've come to this is writing one of those second-person lime fics over on Ponychan; but I still did read the wiki article.

  39. @DarkJesterThe story does need a little smoothing off around the edges, but thank you for the 8 out of 10! I obviously need to work hard for that last 20% (if only there was some way for the story to be +20% cooler! Dash and Pinkie lurking in a mirror and watching Twilight and her friend going at it?)But if you're referring to the overuse of "rump", I make no apologies for this (see below)@DrOrbitalDeathRayBut man, these ponies have some weird physiology, don't they?That they do. You don't know how happy I was to stumble upon the word "fore-hooves"; but for those who wonder I mean by all these words:*withers = shoulders (although I guess the occasional 'shoulder' might creep into my stories – I'm sure I used it a lot in Party*elbows = knees of the foreleg, which MLPs use more like elbows when reared up (also called elbows on real life equines)*haunches = thighs and pelvic region and of course, my favourite word which I use more than absolutely necessary cause I love it so much: *rump = butt

  40. @AnonymousAre you the author of the hoof-worship 2nd person stories, anon?If you are, you should pat yourself on the back since your stuff is absolutely blisteringly hot! The Rarity and Pinkie ones have kept me warm on many a chilly autumn evening at chez Sundae.(Please send me a note if you have a DA…)

  41. @Anonymous @ButterscotchSundae I did not know horses had elbows!PONYFIC: EDUCATIONAL!

  42. Anonymous says:

    @ButterscotchSundaeNo, the Rarity and Pinkie ones weren't me… I believe those were written by Mogu, the originator of that whole 2nd person fad.I wrote one about Lyra (Resonance), and I believe it's now in the 2nd volume of the PDF compilation, though it can also be found in one of the threads on Ponychan and (in a slightly less refined form) on Ponibooru. I'm not sure if it's quite in the same league as Mogu's… that was my first attempt at writing anything of that nature (whether about a pony or anything else, heh), and also the first time I'd ever tried 2nd person (an odd style, to be sure).

  43. Anonymous says:

    This was a very entertaining read! Soft serve erotic ice cream is your forte and you do it extremely well, leaving just enough to the imagination to make a very steamy story.You did well in keeping true to the characters personalities. I was especially fond of Trixie and her over the top descriptive vocabulary. It was a lot of fun seeing the lengths she went though just to have a chance to touch Twilight, as well as the effort she went though to sugar-coat her reasoning for doing so.The ending I found to be very saddening. I felt terrible for Trixie who finally let her true emotions show, only to have it mocked. However, I was quite pleased to see that this isn't the end of the tale and we'll be treated to more. I do hope to see it continued soon! Also, if I might suggest adding the Trixie tag to your story? I had completely ignored this fiction until I learned it was actually a Twixie story from /co/. I'm sure a lot of other fans interested in that ship have bypassed this story too, simply because they did not know what it contained. I know you didn't originally include it so as to keep the twist secret, but do consider your unaware Twixie audience.

  44. As I said on dA, this one is dang good. I'm not normally a Trixie fan, but this one was very good.

  45. I had to clop after that.

  46. StreakTheFox says:

    @Fon Shaolin…huh?Dude, what the heck are you talking about? This was a very spicy and well-written shipping story. This has nothing to do with furries. What the heck are you, some sort of paranoid furry-hater?Why don't you go back and try to re-learn the "love and tolerance" message, hm?

  47. IAreLemons says:

    Oh man I wasn't expecting that twist with Trixie. Well played sir. I lol'd.

  48. WTBrony says:

    Ah, borderline clopfics. A guilty pleasure, but a pleasure none the less.

  49. WTBrony says:

    Ah, borderline clopfics. A guilty pleasure, but a pleasure none the less.

  50. Anonymous says:

    If this is only just borderline clopfic, I wonder what "past borderline" clopfics look like…(ten minutes later)UAAAGGHH MY EYES

  51. Anonymous says:

    If this is only just borderline clopfic, I wonder what "past borderline" clopfics look like…(ten minutes later)UAAAGGHH MY EYES

  52. Saurian says:

    Ah Butterscotch, you so funny.

  53. Saurian says:

    Ah Butterscotch, you so funny.

  54. Andrew says:

    Oh my gosh this storyyyyyyyyyy.

  55. Andrew says:

    Oh my gosh this storyyyyyyyyyy.

  56. Raven says:

    This seems like something Rarity would read…Not bad and that's saying alot coming from someone who don't care for these kinda stories..but 5-star rating drew me in. xD

  57. Raven says:

    This seems like something Rarity would read…Not bad and that's saying alot coming from someone who don't care for these kinda stories..but 5-star rating drew me in. xD

  58. Sun Ray says:

    Argh, stop trying to outdo each other and give into your emotions!I love Twi + Trixie ships. *hugs them both*

  59. Sun Ray says:

    Argh, stop trying to outdo each other and give into your emotions!I love Twi + Trixie ships. *hugs them both*

  60. Grif says:

    Cloppy, but very well-written.5-star, despite my aversion for shipping. (I'll admit, this has lessen somewhat with all the cute shipping fics I have been reading.)

  61. Grif says:

    Cloppy, but very well-written.5-star, despite my aversion for shipping. (I'll admit, this has lessen somewhat with all the cute shipping fics I have been reading.)

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  63. This comment has been removed by the author.

  64. Anonymous says:

    Twilight's manipulation of Trixie at the end of the first one just…felt really really bad. That was just cruel, bro.

  65. Anonymous says:

    Twilight's manipulation of Trixie at the end of the first one just…felt really really bad. That was just cruel, bro.

  66. Didn't think I'd find myself reading a shipping fic anytime soon, let alone a rather explicit one.Pretty good.

  67. Didn't think I'd find myself reading a shipping fic anytime soon, let alone a rather explicit one.Pretty good.

  68. Anonymous says:

    I have the weirdest boner…..

  69. Anonymous says:

    I have the weirdest boner…..

  70. Anonymous says:

    'Borderline cloppy' my butt. When you mention dripping and wetness, it turns to plain-old cloppy.Not that I mind, actually. Still, not something I'd expect on EqD. maybe EAD, if it was ever actually updated. 😛

  71. Anonymous says:

    'Borderline cloppy' my butt. When you mention dripping and wetness, it turns to plain-old cloppy.Not that I mind, actually. Still, not something I'd expect on EqD. maybe EAD, if it was ever actually updated. 😛

  72. TenchiFreak5 says:

    Borderline, Seth? Borderline?Well, whatever. Still a fun read. I try hard as hell to avoid stories like these, but I must say that I can never keep myself from reading Butterscotch's. Always a guilty pleasure of sorts, simply because of how much entertaining they are to read.

  73. TenchiFreak5 says:

    Borderline, Seth? Borderline?Well, whatever. Still a fun read. I try hard as hell to avoid stories like these, but I must say that I can never keep myself from reading Butterscotch's. Always a guilty pleasure of sorts, simply because of how much entertaining they are to read.

  74. Yeeeeaaaaah, borderline, this ain't.This is straight out, honest-to-the-internet clopfic.Not to say it isn't GOOD, though. It's VERY good. Very… VERY good.We have wetness, and moistness, and… for heaven's sake, we have a play-by-play accoount of Twilight's vagina, how much more cloppy can we really get?

  75. Tast says:

    Me: "Borderline? Should make for an interesting read." ¤starts reading¤ "Borderline my rump!" … "Well, it does have clopfic in the description…" I'd probably like these even if I wasn't into fanfics with cloppish elements. However!!! … Reading my favourite canon/fanon pony crush my second favourite fanon pony hurt :< Twilight can be so cruel.

  76. Tast says:

    Me: "Borderline? Should make for an interesting read." ¤starts reading¤ "Borderline my rump!" … "Well, it does have clopfic in the description…" I'd probably like these even if I wasn't into fanfics with cloppish elements. However!!! … Reading my favourite canon/fanon pony crush my second favourite fanon pony hurt :< Twilight can be so cruel.

  77. Anonymous says:

    This is not clopfic, it's borderline. Take it from an experienced anon.Now, if you WANT a real clopfic, let me know. I can point out some real winners.

  78. Anonymous says:

    This is not clopfic, it's borderline. Take it from an experienced anon.Now, if you WANT a real clopfic, let me know. I can point out some real winners.

  79. Anonymous says:

    Twixie, a G1 callback, *and* delicious opiates. All of my favorite things together!

  80. Anonymous says:

    Twixie, a G1 callback, *and* delicious opiates. All of my favorite things together!

  81. Bokoura says:

    Borderline clopfic? Guess I pretty much have to read it, then.

  82. Bokoura says:

    Borderline clopfic? Guess I pretty much have to read it, then.

  83. Tast says:

    @Anonymous It's closer to the other side of "borderline" than most "borderline" fics on EqD, but you do have a point. It is extremely civilized compared to some of the things on EAD and other sites.Regardless, I would prefer it if most clopfics were written in a style similar to this. The imagination is as much a muscle as your heart, and it needs to be exercised regularly! No need to spell it all out, as butterscotch has so… artfully (?) done.

  84. Tast says:

    @Anonymous It's closer to the other side of "borderline" than most "borderline" fics on EqD, but you do have a point. It is extremely civilized compared to some of the things on EAD and other sites.Regardless, I would prefer it if most clopfics were written in a style similar to this. The imagination is as much a muscle as your heart, and it needs to be exercised regularly! No need to spell it all out, as butterscotch has so… artfully (?) done.

  85. Anonymous says:

    …This fanfic….I feel so dirty 0_0

  86. Anonymous says:

    …This fanfic….I feel so dirty 0_0

  87. Anonymous says:

    I fought my way, to the castle here, beyond the Diamond dog city. Faced hardships untold and…Oh sorry, your princess is in another castle!GORRAMIT!But seriously, super cool story bro!

  88. Anonymous says:

    I fought my way, to the castle here, beyond the Diamond dog city. Faced hardships untold and…Oh sorry, your princess is in another castle!GORRAMIT!But seriously, super cool story bro!

  89. Anonymous says:

    This is a well made story, bro. Nice work! It's spiced and soft at the same time. I'm looking forward for part 3. 😉

  90. Anonymous says:

    This is a well made story, bro. Nice work! It's spiced and soft at the same time. I'm looking forward for part 3. 😉

  91. Anonymous says:

    All my innocence with this show is gone 0_0

  92. Anonymous says:

    All my innocence with this show is gone 0_0

  93. Furyhunter says:

    I can't believe I just read that.

  94. Furyhunter says:

    I can't believe I just read that.

  95. NB says:

    Oh, Trixie. You only *think* you're in charge!

  96. NB says:

    Oh, Trixie. You only *think* you're in charge!

  97. Anonymous says:

    i'm reading pony porn :))

  98. Anonymous says:

    i'm reading pony porn :))

  99. Anonymous says:

    Unexplained megalomania leaves this version of Trixie somewhat confusing. It is a big leap, after all, from disguising yourself as a spa worker for some…co-dependent amusement…to full on foalnapping, non-voluntary confinement, and a fascination with domination. The character don't quite match up.On the other hand, the prose is well done and the flow is quite nice. The descriptions are sufficiently graphic without being full on clop: it really is borderline. Though, I must say, it's borderline in the sense that I might as well be balancing on a tight rope with two plates and a banana on my head. I'm not falling, but I'm sure as hay struggling to keep my balance.All in all, good job.

  100. Anonymous says:

    Unexplained megalomania leaves this version of Trixie somewhat confusing. It is a big leap, after all, from disguising yourself as a spa worker for some…co-dependent amusement…to full on foalnapping, non-voluntary confinement, and a fascination with domination. The character don't quite match up.On the other hand, the prose is well done and the flow is quite nice. The descriptions are sufficiently graphic without being full on clop: it really is borderline. Though, I must say, it's borderline in the sense that I might as well be balancing on a tight rope with two plates and a banana on my head. I'm not falling, but I'm sure as hay struggling to keep my balance.All in all, good job.

  101. jenovaii says:

    Whenever i read it i hear Tara Strong's voice! Oh poor my innocence!…i almost want a grimdark version of this, where it's not cloppy but dark and sadistic. I mean, putting the Rainbow of Darkness in there is a stroke of genius.Just..too bad that's not the ONLY 'stroke' i'm seeing…

  102. jenovaii says:

    Whenever i read it i hear Tara Strong's voice! Oh poor my innocence!…i almost want a grimdark version of this, where it's not cloppy but dark and sadistic. I mean, putting the Rainbow of Darkness in there is a stroke of genius.Just..too bad that's not the ONLY 'stroke' i'm seeing…

  103. Anonymous says:

    Very clopworthy.

  104. Anonymous says:

    Very clopworthy.

  105. Anonymous says:

    That's no borderline… THAT'S NO BORDERLINE AT ALL D::3c

  106. Nick says:

    Confound that Butterscotch Sundae. I CAN CLOP TO THIS.Sheeit. Here I thought I could avoid ever getting… 'excited' about ponies. There goes that hope down the drain.

  107. Not cloppy enough.I was disappoint when it cut off just when Twi was gonna taste Trixie's candyvag…

  108. Not cloppy enough.I was disappoint when it cut off just when Twi was gonna taste Trixie's candyvag…

  109. I'm really, really okay with this. c: Twilight has clearly not read the right sort of books. But just who is playing whom here? Looking forward to more as usual, Butterscotch!

  110. I'm really, really okay with this. c: Twilight has clearly not read the right sort of books. But just who is playing whom here? Looking forward to more as usual, Butterscotch!

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  113. MihailK says:

    Hmmm. Something seems familiar…Does some searching.Continues to search through ponibooru.Ahhh! Found it.[NOTE! Tagged as questionable! View at own risk!]http://ponibooru.413chan.net/post/view/23830?search=trixie

  114. Anonymous says:

    I promised myself when I got into ponies that I would stay away from the clop fics and any pony-porn, this is close enough to scare the heck out of me at how erotic a story about ponies could be.. I don't think I've ever been so aware of just how strange it is to get so worked up over ponies…

  115. Ace12541 says:

    I couldn't help but laugh at this one, this was great. Yet another piece of good work Butterscotch ^-^

  116. Mivo Anajevo says:

    Normally I dislike clopfics but The Mistress of Midnight Castle is a wonderful story. I do hope you continue writing! Also very curious to see what the Rainbow of darkness can really do…

  117. DoubleMallow says:

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  118. DoubleMallow says:

    The second it was Trixie, I stopped reading.

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