Story: Bottled Up

[Shipping] Someone finally shipped Colgate!

Author: no space

Description: Berry Punch is a pony with many demons trying to be a good mother, and Colgate just wants to help.

Bottled Up: Bite of Lime
Bottled Up: Night of Stories

Additional Tags: Relationships, Alcoholism, Parenthood, Recovery, Acceptance

This entry was posted in Author: no space, Berry Punch, Colgate, Complete, Ruby, Shipping, Star-4, Story. Bookmark the permalink.

69 Responses to Story: Bottled Up

  1. Anonymous says:

    brushie brushie brushie

  2. Anonymous says:

    brushie brushie brushie

  3. Adrian Brony says:

    Colgate has been shipped several times on this website… though usually under the name "Romana."

  4. Adrian Brony says:

    Colgate has been shipped several times on this website… though usually under the name "Romana."

  5. Anonymous says:

    This might as well be tagged "Clopfic", with the way the opening scene is written >_<

  6. Anonymous says:

    This might as well be tagged "Clopfic", with the way the opening scene is written >_<

  7. NinesTempest says:

    There are a couple Romana x OPPP fics so…

  8. NinesTempest says:

    There are a couple Romana x OPPP fics so…

  9. Anonymous says:

    It seems like the narrative structure falls apart in the first one in the bar night after her trip to Colgate's house :<

  10. Anonymous says:

    It seems like the narrative structure falls apart in the first one in the bar night after her trip to Colgate's house :<

  11. Anonymous says:

    The opening is definitely dangerously close to clopfic territory. One might go so far as to say "in".

  12. Anonymous says:

    The opening is definitely dangerously close to clopfic territory. One might go so far as to say "in".

  13. Anonymous says:

    1st one: Narrative structure falls apart, more like a clop-fic than a story.2nd one: COMPLETE TURN-AROUND. A nice parable for alcoholism in a very sweet story. I actually look forward to more, just please don't go all "Cloppy" in the next one, at least not too much…

  14. Anonymous says:

    1st one: Narrative structure falls apart, more like a clop-fic than a story.2nd one: COMPLETE TURN-AROUND. A nice parable for alcoholism in a very sweet story. I actually look forward to more, just please don't go all "Cloppy" in the next one, at least not too much…

  15. NinesTempest says:

    Really short, and the first chapter when she returns to the bar confused the hell out of me.is okay.

  16. NinesTempest says:

    Really short, and the first chapter when she returns to the bar confused the hell out of me.is okay.

  17. Anonymous says:

    Z'omg. The cute ending to part 2 makes up for the cloppy beginnings of part 1… *d'aw face*

  18. Anonymous says:

    Z'omg. The cute ending to part 2 makes up for the cloppy beginnings of part 1… *d'aw face*

  19. Anonymous says:

    Ok, wow, the second chapter is much better than the first πŸ™‚

  20. Anonymous says:

    Ok, wow, the second chapter is much better than the first πŸ™‚

  21. Tim says:

    The evil wizard Patronius. Yup sounds accurate.

  22. Tim says:

    The evil wizard Patronius. Yup sounds accurate.

  23. l0x0r says:

    I liked it. Although I have to say that the idea of an alcoholic being picked up in a bar and ending up in a stable relationship seems somewhat far-fetched.But then maybe it's just the bars I frequent, which are often not conducive to social interaction.

  24. l0x0r says:

    I liked it. Although I have to say that the idea of an alcoholic being picked up in a bar and ending up in a stable relationship seems somewhat far-fetched.But then maybe it's just the bars I frequent, which are often not conducive to social interaction.

  25. Vopogon says:

    DAMMIT! I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING MY COLGATE SHIP FIC :|Not first…. I'll read this when I have time.

  26. no space says:

    I didn't think it was THAT cloppy… it was only a little lick. Thanks for the feedback, everyone. It is nice to know what everyone's thinking. No one else who read this before I uploaded here mentioned trouble with the transitions. Of course, that was before I moved the three parts of "Bite of Lime" into one document. The fact that they were completely separated before might have had something to do with that, I don't know.There are more planned, which will explore the characters' relationships and backgrounds, delve more into Berry's addictions, and possibly the earlier beginnings of Berry and Colgate's relationship, but nothing else cloppy, really. I wanted to write another "romantic evening" piece, but it will be much cleaner than the first.

  27. no space says:

    I didn't think it was THAT cloppy… it was only a little lick. Thanks for the feedback, everyone. It is nice to know what everyone's thinking. No one else who read this before I uploaded here mentioned trouble with the transitions. Of course, that was before I moved the three parts of "Bite of Lime" into one document. The fact that they were completely separated before might have had something to do with that, I don't know.There are more planned, which will explore the characters' relationships and backgrounds, delve more into Berry's addictions, and possibly the earlier beginnings of Berry and Colgate's relationship, but nothing else cloppy, really. I wanted to write another "romantic evening" piece, but it will be much cleaner than the first.

  28. nemryn says:

    A question about Colgate: at first, I thought she had been named Colgate because she had a toothbrush cutie mark or something. However, that is, obviously, not actually the case. So where did the name come from? Her color scheme?

  29. nemryn says:

    A question about Colgate: at first, I thought she had been named Colgate because she had a toothbrush cutie mark or something. However, that is, obviously, not actually the case. So where did the name come from? Her color scheme?

  30. Vopogon says:

    The name Colgate comes from her colors and the shape of her tail. It looks like a glob of toothpaste.

  31. Vopogon says:

    The name Colgate comes from her colors and the shape of her tail. It looks like a glob of toothpaste.

  32. Anonymous says:

    This is a really nice story. The end of the first chapter made me want to read more.One of the best!

  33. Anonymous says:

    This is a really nice story. The end of the first chapter made me want to read more.One of the best!

  34. Anonymous says:

    I still prefer Aquafresh as her name.First part was a little disjointed, cloppy, and wierd. Second part was adorable and quite well written. (On a unrelated note, I feel weird saying adorable as a 20 year of guy. Confound these ponies…)If I had to give rankings to the two separate parts, 3/5 for the first one, 5/5 for the second one. Hopefully the rest is more like the second one.

  35. Anonymous says:

    I still prefer Aquafresh as her name.First part was a little disjointed, cloppy, and wierd. Second part was adorable and quite well written. (On a unrelated note, I feel weird saying adorable as a 20 year of guy. Confound these ponies…)If I had to give rankings to the two separate parts, 3/5 for the first one, 5/5 for the second one. Hopefully the rest is more like the second one.

  36. @VopogonI had a Colgate shipping fic too…

  37. @VopogonI had a Colgate shipping fic too…

  38. ToonNinja says:

    First, I was like "DAMN! Brushie brushie brushing on the edge of clopfic!" Then I was like "…damn. That was a rather well-written and endearing story, which I now feel a little guilty about lusting over."So, y'know, another Thursday afternoon.

  39. ToonNinja says:

    First, I was like "DAMN! Brushie brushie brushing on the edge of clopfic!" Then I was like "…damn. That was a rather well-written and endearing story, which I now feel a little guilty about lusting over."So, y'know, another Thursday afternoon.

  40. mbulsht says:

    guys… guys, why can't I stop crying?

  41. mbulsht says:

    guys… guys, why can't I stop crying?

  42. Anonymous says:

    >Someone finally shipped Colgate!she has been shipped with OPPPWAAAAAAAAAAAAY beforethere's even two Romana x OPPP fics here on EqD

  43. Anonymous says:

    >Someone finally shipped Colgate!she has been shipped with OPPPWAAAAAAAAAAAAY beforethere's even two Romana x OPPP fics here on EqD

  44. Common says:

    Anypony looking through the comments to see if its worth it: the first chapter is….. pretty cloppy, but push through and it's worth it.

  45. Common says:

    Anypony looking through the comments to see if its worth it: the first chapter is….. pretty cloppy, but push through and it's worth it.

  46. Anonymous says:

    If you think that's cloppy, you've never read a ButterscotchSundae story

  47. Anonymous says:

    If you think that's cloppy, you've never read a ButterscotchSundae story

  48. Uh… you're doing it wrong.It's salt, then tequila, THEN lime.

  49. Uh… you're doing it wrong.It's salt, then tequila, THEN lime.

  50. no space says:

    You can do a Tequila shot either way, and I liked it this way better for the story.

  51. no space says:

    You can do a Tequila shot either way, and I liked it this way better for the story.

  52. no space says:

    Also, thanks! I'm glad that even some people who apparently think the first part goes a little too far into clopfic territory (which I still don't understand) are still reading it to completion.

  53. no space says:

    Also, thanks! I'm glad that even some people who apparently think the first part goes a little too far into clopfic territory (which I still don't understand) are still reading it to completion.

  54. Nova25 says:

    @no spaceBah, it's the Internet, if THIS amount of ''slightly suggestive content'' is enough to drive them off, well… They don't navigate much, not that it means anything.Also…Colgate is Berry's knight πŸ™‚ …like people say : Awwwww, cute Ruby. πŸ˜‰

  55. Nova25 says:

    @no spaceBah, it's the Internet, if THIS amount of ''slightly suggestive content'' is enough to drive them off, well… They don't navigate much, not that it means anything.Also…Colgate is Berry's knight πŸ™‚ …like people say : Awwwww, cute Ruby. πŸ˜‰

  56. Doc Steedly says:

    I liked berry for some reason . . . i dont know if its all of the goofy pics or what, she is flawed but her hearts in the right place . . . I really liked this, it started nice and sensual . . . bah to the neigh-sayers . . it was not cloppy at all . . . i dont consider that even close to to being "clopfic" material. If yall cant differentiate a sensual moment from a sexual one . . . ya'll got some issues, im a 26 yr old male fer cellies sake. I mean c'mon bronies, enjoy the story for what it is, a tale of a families beginning. So what, there was some licking and biting . . . i saw nothing perverted there at all. No way even close to clopfic. *Hrmph*I think its perfectly fine for shipping, really i have come across much much worse than this. Its sad ponies here cant understand and enjoy . . . wow how do i say this without sounding wierd . . . . the passion portrayed. *nods* yeah that will do. They are characters from a kids show, granted . . . but this show has grown to be anything but just that. I think No Space did a great job with this story.I would leave this in my public folder . . . there is far worse on the damn tv. ANYWHO . . . This pony really enjoyed this story as much as memories in a bottle . . . . I loved the ending, made me teary eyed for sure. It was just that simple little line from ruby, "Colgate? Are you my mommy's Knight?" When i read that i choked . . . It was a wonderful surprise for sure. I do hope there is more to this in the future. Berry, Colgate and Ruby are my favorite pony family.

  57. Doc Steedly says:

    I liked berry for some reason . . . i dont know if its all of the goofy pics or what, she is flawed but her hearts in the right place . . . I really liked this, it started nice and sensual . . . bah to the neigh-sayers . . it was not cloppy at all . . . i dont consider that even close to to being "clopfic" material. If yall cant differentiate a sensual moment from a sexual one . . . ya'll got some issues, im a 26 yr old male fer cellies sake. I mean c'mon bronies, enjoy the story for what it is, a tale of a families beginning. So what, there was some licking and biting . . . i saw nothing perverted there at all. No way even close to clopfic. *Hrmph*I think its perfectly fine for shipping, really i have come across much much worse than this. Its sad ponies here cant understand and enjoy . . . wow how do i say this without sounding wierd . . . . the passion portrayed. *nods* yeah that will do. They are characters from a kids show, granted . . . but this show has grown to be anything but just that. I think No Space did a great job with this story.I would leave this in my public folder . . . there is far worse on the damn tv. ANYWHO . . . This pony really enjoyed this story as much as memories in a bottle . . . . I loved the ending, made me teary eyed for sure. It was just that simple little line from ruby, "Colgate? Are you my mommy's Knight?" When i read that i choked . . . It was a wonderful surprise for sure. I do hope there is more to this in the future. Berry, Colgate and Ruby are my favorite pony family.

  58. Rzadko says:

    Aww, this one is cute! Especially the ending oh PT2 (No spoliers)

  59. Rzadko says:

    Aww, this one is cute! Especially the ending oh PT2 (No spoliers)

  60. Zackery says:

    Ch. 1 – Huh, pretty well written.Ch. 2 – D'AAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

  61. Zackery says:

    Ch. 1 – Huh, pretty well written.Ch. 2 – D'AAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

  62. NickNack says:

    The first part is very well-written and shows a deep, sad conflict. It's nowhere near "clopfic" material; even though it's a bit risque, it's quite tame compared to some other "not specific enough to be a clopfic, but metaphors abound for these two pages as the act of sex is being described" stories that are on here.The second part is cute, and I like how it addresses a new problem to avoid the "happily ever after" trope that is, quite frankly, bullshit. My main problem, though, is there isn't really a lot of description of either pony's inner thoughts, compared to the first one.

  63. NickNack says:

    The first part is very well-written and shows a deep, sad conflict. It's nowhere near "clopfic" material; even though it's a bit risque, it's quite tame compared to some other "not specific enough to be a clopfic, but metaphors abound for these two pages as the act of sex is being described" stories that are on here.The second part is cute, and I like how it addresses a new problem to avoid the "happily ever after" trope that is, quite frankly, bullshit. My main problem, though, is there isn't really a lot of description of either pony's inner thoughts, compared to the first one.

  64. Anonymous says:

    After reading the comments I'm not sure what this place wants of the story…… it's a good story, a good read and pretty much safe for anyone to read. (If you can't explain to your children what is happening there in a healthy and educational manner then I suggest you turn over your parent license).

  65. Anonymous says:

    After reading the comments I'm not sure what this place wants of the story…… it's a good story, a good read and pretty much safe for anyone to read. (If you can't explain to your children what is happening there in a healthy and educational manner then I suggest you turn over your parent license).

  66. Anonymous says:

    Why is everybody complaining about a story based on a clop pic coming across as clopfiction?

  67. Anonymous says:

    Why is everybody complaining about a story based on a clop pic coming across as clopfiction?

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