Story: Crusaders of the Lost Mark


[Normal][Random] It’s… not what it looks like. Let’s not go to the movies today, it would be much better to just curl up and have some story time. Yay! (All right, let’s be a bit clearer: picture and story not actually related!)

Author:
Tenure and Midnight Shadow

Description: A mysterious blacksmith with a troubled past trundles into Ponyville as he wends his way to nowhere across Equestria. A chance encounter with three boisterous foals leads him and them to an adventure they’ll never forget, which will change their lives forever.


Crusaders of the Lost Mark

Additional Tags: cutie marks, crusading, soldiers, monsters, teamwork

This entry was posted in Author: Midnight Shadow, Author: Tenure, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Normal, OC Ponies, Random, Star-5, Story. Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to Story: Crusaders of the Lost Mark

  1. Anonymous says:

    >Nazi's>nope.avi

  2. Anonymous says:

    The best Indy stories ALWAYS have Nazis! To hell with whether or not there's ponies involved, I DEMAND NAZIS!Shit, that came out wrong. I DEMAND NAZIS… so Indiana Jones can kill them!

  3. Shmoogy says:

    atleast its no zombie nazis riding on dinosuars with laser beams attached to their heads other then that decent read

  4. Anonymous says:

    Loved it, excellent OC, everypony had good dialogue, And an effective writing style to boot.Though the accent was kinda… Over the top.

  5. ToonNinja says:

    *ka-whuff…shuffle shuffle* Hilarious. Also, the picture's pretty misleading. Went in expecting an Indiana Jones crossover, and instead got a humorously-accented blacksmith and a rather bizarre trip into the Everfree Forest. It's good, I don't doubt that, it's just… misleading.

  6. Anonymous says:

    @AnonymousNow I feel like a foal for not bothering to read before commenting. Whoops. So, not totally Indiana Jones related, which means no Nazis. Eh, still good.

  7. Anonymous says:

    The ending was PRICELESS.

  8. Phoe says:

    Since there's been some confusion as to quite what this story is in lieu of what I thought was an hilarious coincidence, I've edited the post a teeny bit to adjust everypony's expectations.

  9. Chef Sandy says:

    This was an awesome fic. Read the smith's voice as Heavy from TF2 and its even better.

  10. Anonymous says:

    Not Nazis. Russian. The OC is obviously from some Russian analogue nation.And I rather liked the Brick Joke at the end of the story. Makes for a nice bookender and is quite lol worthy.

  11. Anonymous says:

    Okay, someone make an Indiana Jones crossover right now!

  12. Anonymous says:

    Okay, someone make an Indiana Jones crossover right now!

  13. Roman500 says:

    Great story. Smithy reminds me of Heavy every time he talks.

  14. Midnight says:

    I apologize for not having nazi's for indiana foals to kill!The title was too much fun to pass up, sorry!having said that, I'd like to see an indiana jones type or crossover…

  15. Anonymous says:

    I thinkink that this story is good one, comrade. I like it very much.

  16. Tenure says:

    Glad you all like it. Me and Midnight worked pretty hard on it.

  17. Anonymous says:

    Excellent story 🙂 Five stars

  18. Tosxychor says:

    Brilliant story, although in a few cases the rule "Show, don't tell" would have bettered the results. (This seems to apply mostly to AJ in this fic)

  19. Anonymous says:

    Good story! I really liked the OC and his interaction with the CMCs; sort of reminiscent of a grumpy grandfather who has a heart of gold. The accent worked pretty well, I thought, although I didn't get why "Da" became so infectious. On the other hand, it was nice recurring gag, so I'm not sure it needed an explanation.It did strike me a little odd that the CMC became such impressive soldiers after it appears one day of training. If they got more training than that, then I just didn't pick up on it.One grammatical mistake that seemed to get repeated over and over was confusing "it's" (the contraction of "it is") and "its" (the possessive form of "it"). It's probably not a big deal in general, but it happens to be a pet peeve of mine, and ended up being distracting.

  20. Scott says:

    Dude! That was frikken awesome!

  21. Midnight says:

    @Anonymous…we missed messed-up its/it's ?damn. consider me chastized.

  22. >Smithy was the Black ButcherGLORIOUS TWIST ENDING

  23. La Barata says:

    Epic. Fucking. Win.One minor thing, minuscule, really. You used the wrong 'to' in the forest with the crusaders arguing, to instead of too. Nothing other than that

  24. La Barata says:

    Epic. Fucking. Win.One minor thing, minuscule, really. You used the wrong 'to' in the forest with the crusaders arguing, to instead of too. Nothing other than that

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