Story: It’s Not Where You Go… (Updated Chapter 8!)

[Normal] I still have… 0 snails pictures. So here is a quick Screencap.

Author: Cottonmouth

Description: When Snails has a disturbing revelation, he decides to take life into his own hooves. 

It’s Not Where You Go…(Chapters 1-7)
It’s Not Where You Go… (Chapter 8) (New!)

Also, Cottonmouth would like to extend Special Thanks to PoorYorick and Larince for this one.

This entry was posted in Author: Cottonmouth, Incomplete, Normal, Snails, Star-5, Story. Bookmark the permalink.

82 Responses to Story: It’s Not Where You Go… (Updated Chapter 8!)

  1. Cottonmouth says:

    Keep me updated on what you ladies and gents think of this story. If it doesn't catch your attention too much, I'll cull it.If it seems to be chugging along, I plan to make it a pretty huge fic though.Also blog Owner you didn't put the 3 dots after Go? WHY?Still, thanks for uploading, and thanks everyone for reading.Rate and Comment!

  2. Caboose says:

    I'm loving the characterization you've given Snails in this fic, CM! Keep up the good work because I'll be reading! =D

  3. Anonymous says:

    The story of the tortoise mastering life over the hares and maybe a friendship with Trixie?

  4. LawnPygmy says:

    Go Snails! Show the world who's boss!

  5. Cottonmouth says:

    Hey I updated it to contain chapter 2.This is pretty much my first time writing any scene with a bit of action in it, so give me your thoughts.Don't expect chapters out this frequently though, I just had a lot of time and a burning ambition to write Chapter 2.Rate and comment, and tell me what you think of the fic so far! Criqique helps! Thank you for reading.

  6. Anonymous says:

    More developed critique to follow (if I get the time), but I did want to say – I got "new episode on Youtube" excited when I saw the 'Updated!' tag next to this in the sidebar.

  7. Anonymous says:

    This is great. I never thought a side character like Snails could be fleshed out so well.

  8. Anonymous says:

    whoa this story is amazing; who would've thought Snails could that lol. can't wait to see what your take on Trixie will be.

  9. Cottonmouth says:

    Chapter 3 is up, with the introduction of Trixie. How has she fared after the incident in Ponyville?Thank you for reading, and I'll try to keep the updates consistent.

  10. Sethisto says:

    @CottonmouthHey cotton, can you send me a new link? Getting server errors now. C

  11. Anonymous says:

    Works fine for me.

  12. Anonymous says:

    Must say, your characterisation of Trixie is one of the best I have seen so far. And Snails is more than just an idiot (something even the actual show struggles with)! Can't wait to read more!

  13. Cottonmouth says:

    Chapter 4 is up.Tell me what you think of Trixie specifically, I want opinions on her.Feedback on Snails is good stuff to.JUST GIVE ME FEEDBACK. Thank you for reading.

  14. Anonymous says:

    I like how you use Trixie.she is in charachter =)

  15. Putuk says:

    Now this is pretty awesome.Do want!

  16. Ebon Mane says:

    I like how you keep Trixie in-character in terms of arrogance but give hints that she's not a complete bitch through and through and may actually have layers to her.I also like the way you write Snails' train of thought. You can sort of see the narrative getting out of focus until someone interrupts him. Very amusing and immersive.This is shaping up to be one of my favorite stories on this site. Keep up the good work.

  17. Cottonmouth says:

    @Ebon ManeYeah I kept reading other fics where Trixie would come back to Ponyville being all apologetic and seeking forgiveness.I didn't want that. I see her as someone who would go out, get even stronger, then come back and show them her new power.Trixie definitely is not a complete bitch. The reasons she acts the way she does is a part of the hardships of the road combined with a slightly troubling past that I'll get to later.Writing Snails is pretty fun, but I have to make sure not to overdo it. Drifting off of the narrative and then quickly snapping back to it is funny and gives you insight on to why he is the way he is.Thank you so much for reading, Spirng Break for me is 1 week away, so expect a ton of updates around then.

  18. Quilivi says:

    I love these kinds of stories so much.Nice to see Snails given depth of Character and I'm really warming up to Trixie.Keep it up.

  19. Anonymous says:

    This is an excellent fic, and right now the only one I'm checking regularly for updates. Please, continue.

  20. Cottonmouth says:

    Chapter 5 is up.I really REALLY REALLY had to slug myself through this one. I can't pinpoint what exactly the problem was.I need to know if this Snails (hah) pace effected my writing in any way. Please give opinions on the newest chapter, and how it compares to the chapters before it.Thank you for reading.

  21. Putuk says:

    Why is this so awesome?Ch. 5 was amazing!Um… not really shure what to say, I'm not a good critic. I do have a oppinion in my head, but I have trouble putting stuff like that into words…

  22. PodoTepworth says:

    @CottonmouthBlogger lost my first comment, damnit… after I had closed the editor that I pasted out of.I like the way you write Trixie, and you managed to make me like Snails.I’m not surprised this felt like it took extra… Ch 5 is more than a third of your story!Any difficulty pushing through that you felt didn’t hurt the quality of your prose. Clear and engaging throughout.I think the sheer volume of story you packed into chapter 5 was working against you. You’re bringing a lot of things into play leading up to the performance, and I think that working out how to present the information you need to present and keep the tension up was likely a difficult task.Your flashback transitions are a bit abrupt and the flashbacks are long. You’ve packed a lot into the first flashback especially. We get our first view of an important backstory character, some young Trixie, and a big chunk of your theory of unicorn magic. While this works as written, I think it could also work if you salted the flashback info back through the earlier action… a more distributed build up to a faster reveal could yield a nice emotional hit. Might make the pacing a bit easier to manage, too. (I realize that this isn’t a practical possibility when you’re doing publicly serialized chapters…)Writecrafty prodding aside, the flashback worked. I absorbed your theory, and I liked Trixie’s training and Snail’s internalization of the lesson. That’s a difficult bit to write engagingly, and you succeeded.I thoroughly enjoyed the story, all chapters. I’m looking forward to the next chapter, and I think I’ll be digging up and reading any of your fics that I’ve missed. And curse you for making me like Snails.

  23. PodoTepworth says:

    @CottonmouthBlogger lost my first comment, damnit… after I had closed the editor that I pasted out of.I like the way you write Trixie, and you managed to make me like Snails.I’m not surprised this felt like it took extra… Ch 5 is more than a third of your story!Any difficulty pushing through that you felt didn’t hurt the quality of your prose. Clear and engaging throughout.I think the sheer volume of story you packed into chapter 5 was working against you. You’re bringing a lot of things into play leading up to the performance, and I think that working out how to present the information you need to present and keep the tension up was likely a difficult task.Your flashback transitions are a bit abrupt and the flashbacks are long. You’ve packed a lot into the first flashback especially. We get our first view of an important backstory character, some young Trixie, and a big chunk of your theory of unicorn magic. While this works as written, I think it could also work if you salted the flashback info back through the earlier action… a more distributed build up to a faster reveal could yield a nice emotional hit. Might make the pacing a bit easier to manage, too. (I realize that this isn’t a practical possibility when you’re doing publicly serialized chapters…)Writecrafty prodding aside, the flashback worked. I absorbed your theory, and I liked Trixie’s training and Snail’s internalization of the lesson. That’s a difficult bit to write engagingly, and you succeeded.I thoroughly enjoyed the story, all chapters. I’m looking forward to the next chapter, and I think I’ll be digging up and reading any of your fics that I’ve missed. And curse you for making me like Snails.

  24. Luna says:

    This is a wonderful story, and it's really making me like the two most unlikely characters.

  25. Anonymous says:

    You could probably end the story there tbh, but PLEASE tell me there will be a Ch. 6! It was pretty great.

  26. Larince says:

    I heard from a reliable source that there'll be more.

  27. Cottonmouth says:

    I think I might frighten some readers with this post, but I'm not even sure if we are halfway done. Also expect it to get… 'darker' as it goes on. I have a lot of conflict planned out, and conflict is good.By the way. This fic won't be outstepping it's boundaries length wise. I have the rest of the fic clearly in my head now. I just need to write it. Ugh.

  28. Cottonmouth says:

    Now that I read it though…. I do agree that is a pretty good place to end it… and I AM kinda swamped in college studies right now. If I go on I'm afraid it might end up like those TV shows that should have ended after the first/second season.

  29. Ebon Mane says:

    Please don't end it here; I agree that it's a fairly good place to end it, but it also feels like there's just so much more for you to tell.That said, no need to rush it. That's not what Snails would do.

  30. Anonymous says:

    Yes, please do continue it. This is definitely my favorite pony fic, and the only one I really look forward to seeing updated. I'd hate to see it die early.

  31. Cottonmouth says:

    I'm sorry guys I was just trolling you. I have no plans to end the fic until I uh.. reach the end I have had planned since the beginning.I am a person who has been mentally scarred by unfinished fanfiction. I once read a fanfiction for some game I use to play and it was written better than even some top class novels.Then the author disappeared after the fifth chapter. I was extremely sad.Don't worry guys, I got this.

  32. Cottonmouth says:

    Holy shit. Chapter 6.I'm really sorry guys. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm writing so slow…Please rate/comment etc. This one needs a lot of critiquing. A LOT.By the way do any of you know what a "Hack Writer" means? Fon called me one and never told me what he meant by it, so I was wondering if any of you knew.Oh one more thing. Fon wants you all to know this is a shitty and boring fic. Sorry to anyone who likes it. Guess you just don't have good taste.

  33. Anonymous says:

    @CottonmouthDramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadramadrama

  34. Cottonmouth says:

    @AnonymousYou know I appreciate comments on my fic, but spam just isn't any good. Please refrain from spamming the comments.Instead, please read the fic then leave any feedback you may have here. That way your post will contribute to bettering my writing!

  35. Luna says:

    Who is Fon, and why should I care? That person can go get bent. This is one of the better fics I've read, by far.Everything you're doing with this story has been great so far, and the characters feel like they're behaving appropriate to their personalities.I can't offer any critiques, as writing isn't my forte, but the best I can suggest is to take your time with each chapter. Don't adhere to some arbitrary deadline just to keep everypony from waiting too long for the next chapter. Release each one when you feel your writing is where you want it to be. Quality over quantity. It'll be worth it.

  36. Putuk says:

    “… ‘and then they kissed?’ Are you sure that’s a good way to end your novel?”I see what you did there.

  37. CupcakesNom says:

    Wow, Paradise _and_ this updating on the same day… I'd insert a "best day ever" here, but I'll reserve that for when both stories actually finish. And they damn well better.This story makes me like Snails way more than I ever thought I would, and every step of Trixie's redemption makes me give a little cheer inside. Definitely somewhere in my top ten.

  38. Anonymous says:

    Huh, it seemed so complete after chapter 5 that I was sure the next chapter would have snails going back home and helping out his mom with his new found talent. You're doing a good job of keeping the story going however, I look forward to the next installment.

  39. Cottonmouth says:

    @AnonymousI'm starting to think I SHOULD have ended it here.we'll see.

  40. Anonymous says:

    This is great! While the story could have ended in Chapter 5, the background of Trixie easily calls for further character development before a complete closure. Stories often begin with one character, but as he/she meet others it can easily revolve around them as well.Being that Trixie is a major role in this story, she deserves extra lines to flesh her out as well, so as not to make her seem like a tool in pushing the plot along of Snails finding his true ability.

  41. Anonymous says:

    This is incredibly well written, I was honestly surprised. I hope you continue it, and I hope you`re happy you made Snails one of my favorite characters.

  42. Rollout says:

    I am loving this. Please continue.

  43. Cottonmouth says:

    Surpriiiiiiiiiiiise! I'm back!Updated with chapter 7, the longest chapter so far. Enjoy the read, and for Celestia's sake, PLEASE COMMENT. I NEED FEEDBACK MORE THAN EVER. THANK YOU.

  44. Anonymous says:

    @CottonmouthD'oh boy! A new chapter! I'll have to wait until later tonight to read it though. :/

  45. Anonymous says:

    Great chapter! Oh god now I can't wait for the next one

  46. Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous:>I never thought a side character like Snails could be fleshed out so well. youmustbenewhere.jpg

  47. Anonymous says:

    I enjoyed this newest chapter and I look forward to seeing more of your interpretations of Trixie and Snails. Also, was that a small nod to Fist of the Northstar that appeared in one of the later lines?

  48. nova_25 says:

    I seriously hope this doesn't end up like :''Snail goes home. And Trixie was forgotten, still cold-hearthed and unchanged, etc…''OR''Trixie find Snails, offer some excuses, then go back to never be seen''That would be quite a disappointing ending.

  49. Anonymous says:

    CH. 7 was really great! Can't wait for the next one.

  50. Anonymous says:

    @nova_25THIS would be a realistic ending! A person like Trixie can't change all of a sudden.

  51. Cottonmouth says:

    @AnonymousYeah, I was thinking of a line that would show that Hailfire believed Snails would get destroyed.The simple line "You are already dead." Popped up in my mind and I ran with it.Thank you all for your feedback. It motivates me to continue writing.

  52. Anonymous says:

    Isn't it obvious? This is going to end in a snails/twilight/trixie threesome. Pssh, duh.

  53. Anonymous says:

    @AnonymousI see you've been reading between the lines as well.I saw the signs too.

  54. Anonymous says:

    Wow. This fic continues to be awesome. I can't wait to read the end.

  55. Wow, this is great! Absolutely love it.

  56. Anonymous says:

    YO, QUIT TROLLIN' SETH AND FINISH THIS SHIT. I FUKIN LOVE THIS STORY BRO.YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW MAN.YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.

  57. Cottonmouth says:

    @AnonymousI blame finals.But know this: The story IS being worked on. The next chapter is currently closing in on 7k words. I'm pretty sure its going to be by far the longest chapter to date. Just hold on a bit longer.

  58. Cottonmouth says:

    I love how as soon as the fic gets bumped, the fic gains 3 votes immediately and drops half a star.Don't vote unless you've read the fic. 1 starring my stories because of your opinions of me is childish.Anyways, chapter 8 is out.

  59. Anonymous says:

    I was wondering why this is a four star story, should be five!

  60. ToonNinja says:

    I approve. Good story, great characterization… just overall a fun read.

  61. x()~ says:

    Finally. I was worried you drop the story.x()~

  62. Anonymous says:

    FFFFFFFFF-I was just about to start bugging you again about this.Will read later.

  63. Luna says:

    This is definitely one of my favorite fics on this site. It's just simply the best.I'd vote it a 5, but I cant see the stars to vote any more, for some strange reason.

  64. Baree says:

    [SPOILER WARNING]I have no idea how I missed this one. I just read all 8 chapters non stop. This is really, really good stuff. Its a great explanation for Snails Cutie mark and his special talent. I love how you portray Trixie.I am not quite sure where the notion of Trixie's mother dying when she was still a filly comes from (probably fan-art), but its a recurring theme. I love how you tackle the subject. Its still short, but its written well. The one thing that bothers me is that Snails, despite realizing his mother must be missing him, is not trying to contact her in any way. A letter is written quickly enough one would think.Still, that is a minor complaint. In my opinion, this should be a 6 star story. No question. I see its been going on for quite some time, with large breaks in between chapters. I do hope we won't have to wait to long for the next.

  65. Anonymous says:

    Good Stuff. I thought I saw CH.9 was going to be the last but looking again, I see now that isn't necessarily true. I didn't think of this until I read the part where snails wanted to go back to Stalliongrad. Having them continue their journey back to ponyville seemed appropiate to me before snails said that, but if you got more up your sleeve, I'm willing to read on. Hopefully, this gets a 6 star rating at some point.

  66. Anonymous says:

    Great story. Your characterization of both Trixie and Snails is very believable. I'm glad you kept Trixie as very much the same pony, arrogant and rude, but also gave her a soft side. Her past seems very troubling and considering the influences around her as she grew up, it's no surprise she's the way she is now.Snails was excellent too. You've given him a lot of depth and made him a lot more than the village idiot. If he only just discovered his special talent now though, I wonder what led to him getting his cutie mark.Anyway, it looks like you've got a lot to wrap up in what will be (supposedly, according to your TOC) the last chapter. I look forward to reading it.

  67. What a lovely story.

  68. Anonymous says:

    NO I can't read this because of the terms of use violation

  69. Trombe says:

    I absolutely love this story, cotton.Thank you for writing it, and I look forward to its conclusion.

  70. Trombe says:

    I absolutely love this story, cotton.Thank you for writing it, and I look forward to its conclusion.

  71. Octas says:

    I love This Story Can't wait to read part 9. I was almost in tears during some of the story. Also Snails is ZA Wordo!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7wzJ6EJdvY

  72. Octas says:

    I love This Story Can't wait to read part 9. I was almost in tears during some of the story. Also Snails is ZA Wordo!!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7wzJ6EJdvY

  73. Anonymous says:

    I've read a lot of fanfiction, and this is by far the most heartwarming, inspiring, well written, and all-around GREATEST story I had the privilege of reading. Like Snails, I am very slow… It took me over 6 hours just to read the first seven chapters! I can relate to Snails, as I've been very poor most of my life, my mother even skipped dinner just to feed me, too. The growing relationship between Snails and Trixie was beautiful, and I was on the verge of tears several times throughout the story. You have clearly surpassed whatever sets a fanfic from fanfic gold, by far. Thank you very much for writing this story, Cottonmouth. I eagerly await your future work.I give you 7/5 stars. Good show.

  74. Anonymous says:

    I've read a lot of fanfiction, and this is by far the most heartwarming, inspiring, well written, and all-around GREATEST story I had the privilege of reading. Like Snails, I am very slow… It took me over 6 hours just to read the first seven chapters! I can relate to Snails, as I've been very poor most of my life, my mother even skipped dinner just to feed me, too. The growing relationship between Snails and Trixie was beautiful, and I was on the verge of tears several times throughout the story. You have clearly surpassed whatever sets a fanfic from fanfic gold, by far. Thank you very much for writing this story, Cottonmouth. I eagerly await your future work.I give you 7/5 stars. Good show.

  75. StarmanTheta says:

    I feel as though I am obligated to read this. Well, let's start. I'll give my opinion when I'm done.

  76. StarmanTheta says:

    I feel as though I am obligated to read this. Well, let's start. I'll give my opinion when I'm done.

  77. Anonymous says:

    Please finish this story. Please.

  78. Cottonmouth says:

    @AnonymousI gotta admit, I'm quickly losing interest. Sometimes I'll just have the tab to the page opened up for like… 7 hours and not write a single word.I can't tell you for certain anymore whether this will ever be finished or not.Even so, thank you for expressing your concern. Seeing posts like yours and Ddude28's definitely gives me a small spark of inspiration.

  79. Ril says:

    @CottonmouthIt'd be a terrible shame if this goes unfinished, but don't burn yourself out. If you're not feeling it but still go through with it, you'll not like it and it'll show.If the "worst" comes to pass and you know you won't finish it properly, it'd be nice to just get few short paragraphs just letting us know how you'd've ended the story. Incompletes kills me -_-

  80. Chris says:

    I'm with Ril on this one. This is one of my favorite stories on EqD, and I sincerely hope you bring it to a full, satisfying conclusion. If you're unable to I'll understand, but I desperately want to see more of this.

  81. Anonymous says:

    Glad to see I'm not the only one bugging you to finish this.It's all good though, take your time.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s