Story: I Still Don’t Wanna Gallop Home

[Sad] “Another “Daaaawwww” fiction… truly sweet… “-Pre Reader #21

Author: Doctor Dapples

Description: Time has passed. Rainbow Dash is training with the Wonderbolts, but she returns to Ponyville for Applejack’s wedding. But while everyone else is celebrating, Rainbow finds her emotions are more complicated.

I Still Don’t Wanna Gallop Home

Additional Tags: Emotional, Melancholy, Meditative, Short, Friendship

This entry was posted in Applejack, Author: Doctor Dapples, Complete, Rainbow Dash, Sad, Star-4, Story, Twilight Sparkle. Bookmark the permalink.

38 Responses to Story: I Still Don’t Wanna Gallop Home

  1. awww, that was a very sweet ending

  2. DarkJester says:

    Rainbow Dash is in love with Soarin' and not Spitfire? Say whaaaaaat?

  3. Kenrick says:

    I'm really glad to read this, I think it grabs the line on the friendship AJ and RD have without going into shipping territory, More good pony more!

  4. I love RD shipping, but Appledash I never liked.

  5. @Narwhals' BendWhich is why I'm glad this sin't shipping.

  6. Breakfast says:

    A cute little story that touches upon the changes that we all face in life as it progresses from one stage to the next. Perhaps Rainbow will understand more when her own relationship gets a little further. Who knows? But it's a good lesson to remember that just because a relationship changes, does not mean it was all for naught.I liked this one.

  7. Anonymous says:

    the shape of the rock in that image and the look on rainbow dash's face…lol

  8. Appreciating all the good feedback. I was a little worried about this, since this was the first fanfiction I'd written for years, and the first MLP fanfic PERIOD. It didn't help that I read Pinkie Pie: Schism right before this was posted, and my jaw dropped.

  9. Anonymous says:

    >Applejack's weddingWHAT

  10. Anonymous says:

    Now I feel bad, but in a good way.Damn you confusing ponies

  11. Confound these ponies, they drive me to have emotional experiences reading fanfictions.

  12. This story is extra sad after having gone through a nearly identical experience with one of my best friends after I left for college

  13. Anonymous says:

    This humble anon demands more of this. …How dare you accuse me of asking for more simply because I like Soarin'/Dash. You don't know me. Er, still… my point stands. Any sequel plans for this? 😀

  14. Anonymous says:

    And I'm starting to hate Google docs now. Haven't been able to open this in over an hour due to too many people reading.I couldn't care less about the bells and whistles, I just want to read the story.

  15. Anonymous says:

    @Hipster_BronyOH NO! THE HIPSTERS HAVE ARRIVED!

  16. @AnonymousI've been on here for a few months, just been lurking and posting as anon

  17. Anonymous says:

    @Hipster_BronyI will dread the day hipsters overtake bronies 'cause they think ponies are "original" and "ironic."

  18. I wish more writers would give DA links, even just as alternates.Cursed Gdocs reader limit.

  19. Does anyone recommend a different format to post it as? I'd hate for anyone trying to read it not to get the chance.Also, I'm afraid I'm a hipster brony myself. The title of this story is from LCD Soundsystem.

  20. @Scorch_MechanicWhen I finish my Dashfire, I plan on submitting two links to two different google docs, both containing the same story. I've been blocked too many times by docs and I'm not going to let it happen to someone reading my stuff.

  21. Anonymous says:

    There are currently too many people viewing this document. Please try again later.srsly u guyz

  22. Try this on for size: I uploaded it to mediafire.http://www.mediafire.com/?xyr5y7gexy35yb7

  23. NinesTempest says:

    Honestly? I think this needs more content.It needs a lot more emphasis on RD's thinking, and on AJ's side as well. There's the quick mention of vows, and RD's fast little mention that she wishes they were best friends again, and that's kind of it. It's like we're expected to be sad for the sake of sad, when there's so little build up.Length, exposition, and perhaps some thought monologues and more discussion with AJ would help this story a lot. Right now it's just boring.

  24. Anonymous says:

    Thank you, doctor!

  25. NinesTempest says:

    @Narwhals' BendI have a deviant art. I'm so cool.Also I have 1/3 of mine done. :3

  26. @NinesTempestI disagree. What I think it lacks is evocation. It needs more… power. The short story is a fantastic literary device, and properly used it is just as powerful as a story five times as long.This story is a worthy effort. Its pacing and plot is fine. However, I think that if there were even less exposition, less explanation of feelings, less… well. Less.That's right. This short story is too long. Take out the explanation, give the raw feelings of the ponies (and make them stronger), and leave the rest to the reader.I look forward to your next fic Doctor Dapples. This is a fine attempt, and I expect even more in the future.

  27. Anonymous says:

    Nice story. I found calling the male ponies "bucks" a little jarring, though.Male DEER are bucks (and so are male rabbits, incidentally).But a male pony is always a colt or stallion, depending on his age. "Buck", in reference to horses and ponies, is always a VERB.

  28. NinesTempest says:

    @Scorch_MechanicI don't think I really understand what you mean; my issue is that there's no real emotional connection. Yeah we're assuming show canon, but it's been years and RD has left Ponyville, and AJ is marrying somepony. I mean, they're obviously different, and things have happened since RD left to be with the WB.Right now it's just RD telling everypony that AJ isn't her best friend and is just a good friend, and then we're supposed to be sad despite having everyone immediately comfort her after the admission.There's nothing sad here, and there's not enough build up. I think a lot of that opening "bar" scene could be replaced with something.I don't see how less would help given there's already so little emotional involvement.

  29. @AnonymousOops. Fix'd. At least in the Google version. In response to the criticism, I can only say that opinions are like flanks. Everypony has one. But I understand these. This story is something that happened to me, so I probably overestimated things like evocation and emotional involvement. I was there, so it immediately strikes a chord with me and hopefully people who have experienced something similar, but I do wish I had tailored it more to people more alien to these sort of scenarios. Ah well. Nowhere to go but up, I suppose!

  30. rangergx9 says:

    That was some awesome Fan fiction!

  31. Anonymous says:

    Great read. This was honestly the first MLP fic that i've read. Some of the others look interesting, but either I didn't like what it was about or it didn't jump out at me. I even went back and looked at it a few times before finally reading it. I really liked it. I'd be lying if I said I didn't water up a little at the end. I've been through that experience with friends and it's never easy. It's even worse once kids come into the picture. This was a good piece of work and my only suggestion would be the maybe add in a little bit more for the fleshing out of the backstory. We know what's happened in the show, but what about outside? You could make up some general events or even reference other fics that you've liked with these two. Again, it's just as suggestion. I give this story two hoofs up.

  32. Anonymous says:

    that was really sweet

  33. Anonymous says:

    Hell yeah LCD Soundsystem! I agree that this could be longer, maybe with more details about how AJ met her spouse. But it's pretty interes and true to life as is.

  34. Pinkie Pie says:

    Aww that story is really sad!Well atleast we are all still together! Lalalala.Or does that tell the future?

  35. Anonymous says:

    Too much like life on Earth, not in Equestria.

  36. Anonymous says:

    Too much like life on Earth, not in Equestria.

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