Story Set: Twilight Sparkle’s Secret // Silence // Battle for Sugarcube Corner

Three stories in one from A.J.! All listed below.

[Normal] Twilight Sparkle’s Secret

Author: A.J

Description: Twilight Sparkle wanders around Ponyville taking notes on her friends, but what for?

Additional Tags: Cute, Request, A bit long, Heartwarming, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Aluicious, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, Spike, Derpy Hooves

[Grimdark-Creepy] Silence

Author: A.J

Description: Pinkie Pie is still feeling a bit conflicted about her friends, and she’s starting to break under the pressure. Author’s Note: I creeped myself out writing this, lol. I think it ends on a bit of a cheesy note though.

Additional Tags: Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle

[Normal] Battle at Sugarcube Corner

Author: A.J

Description: Staff Sergeant “Icepick” Spike takes his time in to take over an enemy bunker occupied by Fuehrer “The Fury” Pinkie Pie. Based off of the MLP Vietnam art.

Additional Tags: Staff Sergeant “Icepick” Spike, Private First Class Twilight “Sparkplug” Sparkle, Sergeant Rainbow “Longbow” Dash, Sergeant “Mortarjack” Applejack, Hospital Corpsman “Sawbones” Fluttershy, Fuhrer “The Fury” Pinkie Pie, Sergeant “Bullseye” Rarity, Sweetie “Bombshell” Belle, “Wheels” Scootaloo, and Solid Bloom, Action, Cheesy, Happy Ending

This entry was posted in Author: A.J., Cutie Mark Crusaders, Everypony, Grimdark, Normal, Star-4, Story. Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Story Set: Twilight Sparkle’s Secret // Silence // Battle for Sugarcube Corner

  1. Anonymous says:

    Silence was a good read, but the ending came out of nowhere and felt really rushed and unsatisfying

  2. Führer Pinkie + Mountain of Cupcakes =D:THE CUPCAKES ARE MADE OF *Insert Minority* PONIES!We must end her reign of tyranny now!

  3. I have so much love for "Battle at Sugarcube Corner." The relatively short length was ideal. The military rankings were well-picked and the nicknames were somewhere between badass and charming (and yes, a bit cheesy). Putting Spike as leader was a great way to lead through the narrative. I appreciate that you incorporated the main cast as well as the CMC. (Rarity's photo in his pocket, Apple Bloom the assassin with a chip on her shoulder – I died a little.)Final thought: ponies playing out make-believe historical vignettes like this should become a thing.Well done!

  4. Tarvoc says:

    More Pinkie Pie Grimdark. Yay.

  5. Gent says:

    Pastebin for Twilight Sparkle's Secret:

  6. Raz_Fox says:

    Twilight Sparkle's Secret was sweet, and I think the best story out of the lot. That ending was perfect, even if I don't quite agree with Derpy's characterization as being so random.Battle at Sugarcube Corner was good too – I was worried that it might get too dark, but the ending was worth it.Silence, though, was merely meh. The sudden mental breakdown didn't really work, and neither did the infectious silence.On the whole, 4/5.

  7. Nullh says:

    Twilight's secret was good. Nice use of the unreliable narrator 🙂 4/5Silence was a bit quick. I liked what you were trying to do but it didn't do anything for me. Sorry brony 2/5Battle at Sugarcube Corner was fun. I wasn't sure if it was going to switch back to canon for the ending, which kept suspense up nicely. 4/5Thanks for writing though, ED's fanfic posts are doing a great job of staving off the pony jones!

  8. Anonymous says:

    I thought Twilight's Secret was was meh. It's not bad, has a little sweetness to it, but I believe it would have benefited from longer interactions with the main characters, and I do not like the characterization of Derpy. The whole word salad as speech thing doesn't make for believable dialog.

  9. Anonymous says:

    Speaking of Derpy, should be one "was", not two.

  10. AJ says:

    I tried to do really well with Twilight's Secret because it was a request some asked of me and I really liked the idea behind it. There were times when I was writing it that I felt like it was too rushed in some spots but I'm glad it came out enjoyable enough for those of you who read it.As for Derpy, I thought it would be nice to put in her in there but I didn't know which version to use, so I used one that I felt most people would recognize and be familiar with, hence the word salad. I will admit that I do like her cryptic way of talking. It makes you really listen to what she has to say…of course Twilight wasn't really in the mood but I digress.(one was? I couldn't seem to find what you were talking about.)Silence…I honestly wasn't too sure about. To whomever said it was rushed, you would be right. I didn't spend too much time on since it wasn't a request. It was just something I threw together that ended up making me really paranoid about all the noises in my house. I wanted to give it a shot and see what you all thought of it. It could have been better, and I apologize that it wasn't.I thought most of you would hate Battle at Sugarcube Corner. It was a request and it was the one I felt was the most rushed. I held back on it a lot because I didn't want to do full out blood and guts action. I mean it was supposed to be a water balloon fight over a bunch of cupcakes after all. I think I said this before, but this was based off of the MLP Vietnam fanart that was done. Spike luckily happened to be the highest ranking officer according to the pictures so that worked out nicely. I thought you guys would like if I put him in charge and made him as badass as possible under the restraints I'd put on myself. I'm surprised it's being so well received.Thank you all for your comments and continued support. I will also continue to answer any and all questions you have.

  11. Kits says:

    Battle at Sugarcube CornerOMG =DI loved it

  12. Brian says:

    *reads Silence*What the frak? Pinkie Pie's the Slender Mane!?

  13. Anonymous says:

    @AJSorry AJ, I was referring to myself. I wrote two was's instead of one.It is good to write characters that your audience can connect with, but no one speaks in word salads. It's lazy characterization. She's walleyed so she can't talk straight too, hur hur. I don't even know who thought was a good way to characterize Derpy. I don't mean to get on your case about this, I just really don't like word salad Derpy. I had a neighbor when I was little who was crossed, had a club foot and hand. He was awesome. Taught my brother and I to fish, and how to use cooking spray as a flame thrower. He showed us R rated movies and how to play poker. He was funny, smart, and a great cook. That's what I think of when I think of Derpy.

  14. Anonymous says:

    @AnonymousDamn it, "who was cross eyed". >:|

  15. Ironlenny says:

    @AnonymousDamn it, "who was cross eyed". >:|

  16. Escher says:

    I guess I didn't get Secret. Twilight randomly runs from one person to the next, alternately wanting to see them and fleeing their presence. What did she need to see them for? She doesn't know them well enough to write to her parents off the top of her head? Twi's motivations were obscure and weak and th mundane ending made it seem like a shaggy dog story (that is to say, a rambling tale with no actual point).

  17. Anonymous says:

    @Eschertwi wanted time alone to think but all other ponies were being nosey and so she left them she was hiding her letter for some reason she went to there houses for peace and quiet.

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