Story: Equinox

[Normal] Some Luna stuff from Squeak.  And those still aren’t eyes.

Description: Luna says hello to an old friend.

Equinox

This entry was posted in Author: Squeak, Luna, Normal, Star-5, Story. Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to Story: Equinox

  1. Squeak says:

    Thanks for the upload, Blog Brony! Comments always appreciated!

  2. Anonymous says:

    I will read the story riiiiiiiiiight after I comment about ass eyes.Ass eyes.

  3. Sandman says:

    I dawwww'd.Then I quickly clicked 'X' because the eyes, the eyes, they won't stop staring……….MAKE THEM STOP STARING!

  4. Squeak says:

    @SandmanThank you! Why do I get the suspicion I'm going to get more comments about the eyes than the fic? Not to say I blame people….they never stop staring…

  5. Sandman says:

    @Squeak Yeah the eyes will get more comments, it seems like when stuff like that is completely unintentional it is creepier/funnier.

  6. Anonymous says:

    That's one small step for Princess Luna, one giant leap for ponykind.That story was really nice – made me go 'awwww'also…the eyes

  7. Pride says:

    Really, really liked this. Was bloody adorable.

  8. madmax says:

    @Squeaksqueak that was beautiful and lovelyluna is not alone 🙂

  9. uSea says:

    That was very nice.If I can offer any criticism it would be that it seems you used an overabundance of commas in some areas. I can't really talk though. I'm just as guilty.Also, I'm staring at the eyes, not her ass.Honest!

  10. Five stars. Five unabated stars.This brought a tear to my eye. Excellent work, Squeak.

  11. PodoTepworth says:

    Beautiful cadence, lovely imagery, brilliant execution. This story wants to be read aloud. I read parts aloud just to hear it.Very Beagle-esque style. A wonderful choice for this character and this story.The only thing I found slightly awkward was the Celestia/Luna exchange upon arrival in Ponyville. That paragraph lost the rhythm for me, just a little. That didn't matter, though. I loved this. Read it three times, then it dragged me out of my comfortable bed to get in front of a real keyboard and praise it. Read it again while writing this. It is the only Luna story I've seen so far that has felt exactly right… You've enlarged the character for me. Bravo, and thank you.

  12. TooMuch says:

    It feels like a fairytale. Awesome.

  13. Of course they're not eyes!…they're decoy eyespots.

  14. The early part made me kind of sad; the later part likewise; then the ending turned it all around. Nice!

  15. Anonymous says:

    aww i love luna and this story, but the way you kept saying 'the moon was silent' made me think it was gonna start talking and then i had a visual that the moon from the mighty boosh was having a chat with luna lol

  16. Anonymous says:

    @LordOfTheWrongs"And here we see the pinkie piacis, hunting in its natural habitat. It sneaks up to its victim, but, confused by the decoy eyes, it attacks the rear instead… turning this hunt into a mating session."

  17. Squeak says:

    Wow, so many new comments! How wonderful! I suppose I shall make my way down the list in order.@Anonymous Yes, one giant leap! Thank you, glad you liked it! I now have the urge to write a story about pony space travel….I suppose I'll save that for the Whoof fic.@PrideThank you! I do like adoribleness, so that is quite the compliment! @MaxieThank you, Maxie, I'm very happy your liked it! Indeed she is not alone.@uSeaYeah, my comma usage has occasionally been a bit of a problem, I shall try to work on it! Thank you for the feedback! I'm glad you enjoyed the story! @Cereal Velocity Wow! Thank you! I'm so happy this story seems to be doing so well! Unabated five stars! *Squeeee*@PodoTepworthWow, that has to be one of the best comments Iv'e gotten. Thank you. Funny you should mention Beagle, I happen to be reading an anthology of his at the moment! I thought the story style would fit, so that's what I was going for! I'm glad I accomplished it! Thank you for the feedback as well, I shall work on it! I'm really giddy that you enjoyed it to such an extent. Perhaps I shall try to get my brother to do a reading for you. Thank you very much for reading, and taking the time write me a comment.@Toomuch Thanks! I was leaning towards that fairytale style of things.@Lordofwrongs.Of course….it all makes sense now…@LurksnomoreThank you! @AnonymousGlad you liked it, but now I'm going to be thinking about the Mighty Boosh all week!

  18. Pacce says:

    Beautiful imagery, I even got a touch misty at the end.

  19. The RPGenius says:

    This was nice. The grammar needs some tidying up here and there (most notably, the word is "its" without the ' when it's meant to be possessive–it only has the ' when it's being used as a contraction ("it is")), but that's the only real criticism to be given. Otherwise, it's short and sweet, fairly well-written and a nice glimpse at a character who continues to be sadly underused. 4 Stars.

  20. Squeak says:

    @PacceThank you Pacce! *Eeehhh* I made someone misty! Justasplanned.jpg @TheRPGenius Thank you! The Its have been corrected. I'm glad you liked the story, and thank you for the helpful feedback! Much appreciated!

  21. SlyWit says:

    Very sweet story. My workshop-critical side wanted to change only a seldom spot or two, which is certainly rare in fanfiction (other stories have me going of like a warning klaxon). I admire your natural talent at imagery and especially at evoking bittersweet emotions. There is a reason I always come back to your fics and this is no disappointment.

  22. Anonymous says:

    Wonderful job on this, thanks for the great story.

  23. PodoTepworth says:

    @Squeak>Perhaps I shall try to get my brother to do a reading for you.How very cool! I hope this works out… I'll look forward to listening!

  24. Squeak says:

    @PodoTepworthHe won't….Sadfluttershy.jpg But, somepony has apparently been listening to us, and did this! http://yourlisten.com/channel/content/85863/Equinox_

  25. Anonymous says:

    @uSeaYeah, she has nice eyes doesn't she?

  26. Squeak says:

    @SlyWitThank you, Slywit!! I've corrected a dew mistakes since your comment, so hopefully I caught those errors! Thanks again, I'm really ecstatic at your comment! I'm glad you weren't disappointed!

  27. Fire.Esper says:

    Your writing style is booming with sophistication, like Abraham Lincoln punching his fist through a steam engine.Well-done.

  28. Tigerflame says:

    Thanks for uploading this nice story! it was sooo cute and the added music helped make it even cuter! Thank you! <(^~^)>

  29. SummerBreeze says:

    a tastefull piece on a moonless night such as this.i enyojed it.5 stars.

  30. Naxts says:

    I really wished I read this earlier. This is a really sweet and simple story.Its absolutely lovely.

  31. BronyMike says:

    Aw… got some tears of sweetness outta me at the end of this kid. Well-done. So, am I interpreting this right? Was it the moon itself that decided to appear mid-day to cheer up Luna? Heartwarming.A bunch more errors are still in the thing, though. In this show, the plural of Pegasus is "Pegasi". Also, when it's possessive, the word is "its". It's only "it's" when short for "it is".

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